Manchester United beat Chelsea today on penalties in the Community Shield at New Wembley.
It was Man Utd who opened the scoring in the 32 min. It took a few deft touches from Evra and Ronanldo, who played it back to Evra who let go a pinpoint cross to the feet of Ryan Giggs who nonchalantly stroked the ball into the roof of the Chelsea net. Chelsea hit back on the stroke of half time when an awesome overhead through ball by Ashley Cole landed perfectly in the path of the new signing Malouda who sidled past a stumbling Rio Ferdinand and side footed the ball past van der Sar for the equaliser making Ferdinand look like an absolute toss in the process.
1-1 Was how it finished, so it went straight to penalties. Chelsea's Pizzaro started proceeding off when his penalty was outrageously saved by Edwin Van Der Sar. Ferdinand then made no mistake. Then the Ed proceeded to save the next two penalties from Lampard and Wright-Phillips. In between these two fuck-ups, Carrick managed to slot his penalty. This left Rooney the task of scoring and putting it beyond reach. Rooney made no mistake and the drumming was complete! 3-0.
The Ed was the hero and I'm sure he got his brains fucked out by a bunch of chav chics after the game. Actually come to think of it, both sides probably got their brains fucked out cuz they are rich and famous. Even Rooney probably came right. The chav ladies aren't picky.