Friday, February 29, 2008

Greatness CC Dealt yet another Blow


The Greatness CC were dealt yet another crippling blow when their frontline destroyer and arguable their most prized asset, Seb Franke-Mattecka withdrew from the Nadoes 6’s due to a hand injury.

Franke-Mattecka is rumoured to be on a $50,000 a week salary from the Greatness CC and will be noticeable by his absence. It is rumoured that he injured his hand while attempting to save kittens from a burning building, but as of yet these reports have not been confirmed.

This crushing news comes in the wake of The Spin Lizzards withdrawl. This will surely further weaken the Greatness CC and the competitors will be left licking their lips.

The replacement has been named to take the place of the injured star. He will be none other than cobras opening batsman, Derrin Bassage. Nothing too hectic. His provincial carreer reads as follows:


He is said to be very excited at the chance to prove himself at the highest level, and revealed that it has been a lifelong ambition of his to play in the Nadoes 6’s.

Word from the bookies is that the odds are amazingly still in the Greatness’s Favour. Stay tuned for more updates as well as the results on Monday. Good luck too all except Nic MacConnachie’s team.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Too many Puns to say


Greatness CC Rocked by Withdrawl

Smith: Calculating

PRESS RELEASE:

It seems that the Greatness CC have issued a press statement this morning via their marketing manager Mervyn Hughes.It read as follows:

"We have had some rather unfortunate news this morning. This came in the form of the withdrawl of the Spin Lizzard from the Nadoes 7's on Sunday. He tendered his resignation with a tear in his eye, citing an overwhelming workload as the reason for his actions.

The cricketing public were keen to see the spin lizzard perform in the shortened form of the game as he has been a prolific wicket taker of late for the Nadoes franchise in both the 1-day and 2-day series'.

We have called an emergency meeting of the board to discuss a replacement for the Spin Lizzard. We have decided on SA Cricket Captain Graeme Smith. On hearing the news of his selection, he was whisked from his hotel in Bangladesh and is on a plane as we speak. He will be joing the players at their training camp early tommorrow morning.
Although our line-up has been dented slightly, we still believe that we have what it takes to bring the cup home."


The Greatness CC remain as the bookies favouites at 2-1, closely followed by the Debutants, the Cobras at 5-2.
It remains to be seen whether they will crumble under the pressure or they will live up to their full potential and win the Cup for a record breaking 2nd time.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Youth of Yesteryear.



As the excitement surrounding the Nadoes 7’s increases I only thought it apt that another team captain got the playroom platform to air his views on the big competition coming up on Sunday. Nicolas MacConnachie, an astute cricketer and all round nice guy wrote the following letter for all Playroom readers. Nicolas will be captaining the most consistent team of the championships, The Youth of Yesteryear.

The Youth of Yesteryear.
As a captain you could not be any more satisfied with your squad. We have one or two members unavailable from our previous years, but we have not been weakened by this but rather, we have been strengthened.

I am very happy as a captain with the new signing done in the off season by our management team. Our staff have gone away and looked at where we can strengthen as a squad and then delivered.

A significant signing has been Colin Birch. Colin was in the winning team last year and can be said to have carried the team captained by Jason Elley. When I approached him, he was unsure of his future with the team he won the trophy with last year. He jumped at the opportunity to play for a side that is maturing and heading upwards. Colin said “rather than play for a side that maybe is on the other side of the hill already, and is heading down hill rather than uphill, I want to play for the Youth of Yesteryear”. Colin has been known to be a big hitter that loves nothing more than pressure situations and we welcome him into what is a very happy team environment.

Our second big signing Ken Kirkby; well need I say anymore? As you all know he is a big hitter with amazing talent which has blossomed of late. He struggled to get going at the beginning of the season, but as the old saying goes ‘form is temporary and class is permanent’. But when we signed the ‘Muffin Man’, it just seemed to give him the confidence he needed. The next weekend he scored 76 off 50 balls and the following weekend another great innings of 60+. I do feel he just needed sum backing from his peers and we offer him this backing in our team. And I am afraid but yet delighted to say, he is back at his best and a wonder to watch. I have had lots of moans about signing him from rival teams management, but again, we had a chat to him, and without hesitation he signed.We have such a great vibe in the camp, I have no doubt we will be at our best as a team. And if we don’t win it, which I’m positive we can, we will be right up there.

Captain and Leader Nicolas MacConnachie

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sarah Silverman is F@#king Matt Damon

Remember Scotty Doesn't know from Euro trip?

This is the next step!! Just get the first min out the way then the song starts! F#@ken funny!!

Conference call

Just a lesson one should learn early on in life. You got to watch it a couple of times and watch each of the different peoples reactions....

Friday, February 22, 2008

Dont drink too much

Greatness VII team named

The great man in action

There was an air of tension as the Greatness VII waited to recieve their caps and be knighted last night. The Board of Selectors for the Greatness had made their selection for the upcoming Nadoes Super VII's on the 2nd March. The Board were all in attendance and are arguable four of the most influencial sportsman of out time, not to mention the most colourful personalities of their respective sports. They were Eric Cantona (CEO), John McEnroe, Merv Hughes and Pieter Rossouw. These are the players that were Knighted by the board and inducted in a secret ceremony last night:

1) Seb Francke-Mattecka
2) Rhino van Niekerk
3) Great Dayne (c)
4) Murray King
5) Podge Rodgers
6) The Spin Lizzard
7) Matthew Hayden

The Greatness board named a rather inexperienced side for the Nadoes VII's, with 5 debutants accompanying the experienced hitters Seb and The Great Dayne, who has been named as captain. But they are confident that this side has all the exuberance of youth and has what it takes to become the only side to win the coveted Nadoes VII's cup for a second time.

May I Just relay the words of Eric Cantona, CEO of Greatness PTY (Ltd) at the press conference earllier this morning:

"No stone was left unturned, no mountain left unclimbed, no valley left unsearched to recruit the best to the Greatness VII. We have assembled a team of champions here. We are looking to repeat the heroics of 2006, to demolish the competition and make a clean sweep of ur competitors, winning the cup for a record second time. This will not be easy as there are some very talented cricketers in the teams that stand in our way. But in the face of adversity we will triumph, this young team of superstars will have their names etched in the record books as the side that took them all down. Good luck to the rest of the teams, God knows you will need it."

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Two Oceans Marathon


The Two Oceans Marathon is synonomous in Cape Town Social Circles as a massive Vibe. If it is made known that you are running the two oceans, you are just that little bit cooler. People look at you in a slightly different light. You are immediately assumed to be fit and healthy.

You are then able to utter phrases such as, "I need to get more k's into my legs" and " Im aiming at a sub 1:45" and know what they mean. For people hearing this, it just adds to the aura around you and further adds weight to the theory that this guy is for real.

Sadly, this is not always the case. We have banded together a group of athletes (if you can call them that) that are not expecting to win. Hell, we will be happy if we even finish. With the days of school sport a distant memory (A few have played Varsity rugby, but not all), these intrepid atletes are looking to prove to themselves(and anybody else who is reading) that thay are infact a vibe.

Not often known for their running prowess, they are determined to finish the race in respectable times and finish as a group. That being said, their results will be published along with their finishing times, so that there will be proof of them finishing. Th training has begun ladies and gentlemen, every wednesday sees the participants partake in the Common Time Trials. Judging from the last few attempts, the fitness levels are not where they should be, but hopefully they will pick up a bit closer to the actual race.

The Team will be announced soon, so watch this space to see who is involved. The Big day is the 22nd March 2007, so come on boys, lets get on the road!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Daly Cup Records


As hated as they are, every organization needs auditors. We must thank our Rules Committee for pointing out the gross negligence on our part to purport such criminal news to the golf loving public.

I whole heatedly apologize to the wronged parties and hope that they will open their hearts and practice the divine act of forgiveness. All records will be apended so that they are 100% correct.

They are now as follows:

DALY CUP RECORDS

Most Golf: JADH Charton 99 (net)
Lowest round (gross): D Allenbrook 75
Lowest round (net): D Allenbrook 68
Biggest winning margin: D Allenbrook 4 shots

PAST CHAMPIONS

19/07/07 MJ King (Mowbray)
14/08/07 S Mortlock (Mowbray)
25/10/07 J Charton (Royal Cape)
18/12/07 D Allenbrook (Mowbray)
17/02/07 D Allenbrook (Mowbray)

Press Release from Rules Committee

This is merely a re-posting of the rules posted officially on the 18-12-2007.  The re-posting has largely to do with the fact that there was a large amount of confusion regarding 'Rule 4'

4. The 18th hole (and only the 18th) must be played in medal format. i.e. no picking up and 'ringing' unless you feel you are completely out of the running.

Special attention should be made to the provision made at the end of the rule.

You can look at the rule book yourself if you like.  The rules committee is deeply disappointed that even the reporting media at the latest Daly Cup seemed to be confused about the rule and seemed to disqualify a competitor based on this misunderstanding.  I am not asking for an apology, but a correction I feel would be in order.

I hope that for the next Championship all those concerned will be au faux with the rules.

I would also like some feedback on a proposed new rule that the use of transport aids by competitors on the course be banned.  We are currently debating the issue.

Yours Sincerely

The Rules Committee

Harsh but Fair


Monday, February 18, 2008

Bosch Rugby Supporters’ Club



You have the Super 14, the Currie Cup, the Vodacom Cup and many other forms of rugby competition in our lovely country. But there is one form of competition that seems to evoke so much emotion amongst its patrons, and it’s that of school boy rugby. School boy rugby has now entered the rugby realm of ‘hectic’ as schools breed mini Lomu’s in the attempt to gain respect for their school through the game of rugby.

Once a rugby stronghold, Rondebosch Boys’ High has struggled somewhat with the transition into this hectic phase. This is no more as the Bosch Rugby Supporters’ Club has been set up so that old boys, parents, friends and anyone with an interest can help the development of Bosch rugby.

This is an invitation to all those interested in Bosch rugby to join the club and come have some fun!

The first function of the year is on Thursday 21 February at 18:00 in the Centenary Pavilion at Rondebosch Boys’. There will be an open bar and a meal on offer and the guest speaker is the renowned controversialist Mark Keohane. The cost for membership is R100 for U25’s and R300 for the older supporters. With 6 great functions a year where a meal and a guest speaker are on offer the deal is a no-brainer, not to mention an open bar at both the 1st function and the AGM.

So if you are interested then come on down on Thursday and you can join up and enjoy the festivities and at the same time support a great school and a great game.

Daly Cup Championship


Yesterday saw the 7th running of Cape Town's most prestigous golf challenge, the Daly Cup. It was held at Mowbray Golf & Country Club in somewhat blustery conditions. There was a 10 strong field boasting 3 former champions and a host of top 10 players from the Playroom Tour. Allenbrook was looking to make history and become the only player to win back-to-back Daly Cup Championships in the Open Era.

In the field were a few Daly Cup deutants. Shank Miles and the British Pro Alex Roy started in the star studded field, but the most notable debutant was The Name Thompson. The Name has just finished serving a 6 month Daly Cup Ban after being suspended for the second time late last year. Much hype had arisen on how the Name would cope with the pressure of a Daly Cup and the crowds were out in numbers to see him off the 1st.

The betting odds were released from Ladbrokes late on Saturday night and showed Allenbrook as slight favourite to repeat his last Daly Cup performance at 3-1, with Charton (A previous Daly Cup winner) a close second at 7-2. The Bookies bet was Sanderoff playing off an 18 (The Daly Cup maximum allowed Handicap) at 7-1.

It was Charton, Thompson and Roy who would get things underway. Charton and Roy both found the semi-rough off the first tee and it was then up to Thompson to get his Daly Cup carreer off to a start. The crowd waited with anticipation as the Name circled his bag, like a shark circling a surfer, deciding whether or not to take the driver. A groan went out as he produced a much safer iron and got ready to hit. Not a sound rang out around the grandstands as the Name stood over his ball. And...he banged it out of bounds. The crowd roared with aproval and the games were on.

The next three ball consisted of Shank Miles, Rhino van Niekerk and defending Daly Cup Champion, Dayne Allenbrook. They all managed to get off the tee without a problem. Following them was the final 4 ball of Charles Sanderoff, Tom Dawson-Squib, Tim Florence and Murray King.

The front 9 was a slow process, but on the whole rather uneventful after the Name's early antics, except for Charton's frequent outbursts in which he would issue a barage of abuse in every which direction to the great amusement of his playing partners. Shank raised his bat with an unimperssive 51 and was now just enjoying the sunshine. Allenbrook emerged the leader at the half way stage by two strokes with a rather good 39. He was trailed by Sanderoff and Dawson-Squibb. A further shot back was The Name who had made a good recovery to come in with a 42.

And so the Back 9 started, and with it, The Name's charge had ended, making a pair of double's at the 10th and 11th he saw his challenge go out the window. The media had been proved right and it was once again shown that you cant win a Daly Cup at your first attempt. So, Allenbrook stood at the 12th tee box with a 4 stroke lead and in reach of his 2nd Daly Cup victory.

The wind had now got up to close to Gale force speeds, making the golf almost impossible, and threw the chances of posting good scores out of the window. In the Last few holes Rhino van Niekerk made a late charge along with Dawson-Squibb and Sanderoff, while all the others fell away. D-S was only 1 shot back, while Rhino and Sanderoff were two back with only the Medal 18th to play. Dawson-Squibb blew out under the pressure while the other two could only manage double bogey 6's. Allenbrook made a par 4 on the 18th to grab his 2nd Daly Cup Victory by a record winning Margin of four strokes.

Leaderboard:
+ 2 Allenbrook
+ 6 van Niekerk
+ 6 Sanderoff
+ 7 Dawson-Squibb


Most Golf went to a disasterously out of form Jambles Charton who came in with the first N/R in Daly Cup history after picking up on the 18th.

A great day was had by all and the next Daly Cup will eagerly anticipated. Participants will be notified closer tothe time, after all applications have been recieved.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Monday Night Rugby

Monday Night Rugby is here! An exciting new innovation has hit the SA rugby scene. It is a Varsity Competition played on Monday Nights. It has evolved from the Superbowl competiotion that has taken place in previous years. There will also be a UCT inernal Leaugue Invitatinal team that will be competing in a Koshuis League in George over te Easter Weekend. Two of our very own Nadoes have made the team. De Von Liechtenstein and LaLaLoyd Anderson have been selected for this prestigous event. Do us proud boys!!

The eight competing universities: University of Stellenbosch (Maties), University of Pretoria (Tuks), University of Cape Town (UCT), Tshwane University of Technology (TUT), Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University (NMMU), North West University (NWU-PUKKE), University of Free State (Shimlas), University of Johannesburg (UJ).

This competition is for players 25 years or younger and the timing of the tournament enables teams to take part in their local leagues and other SARU fixtures.

Varsity Cup fixtures:
Monday, February 18: 1. Maties v Tuks (televised) 2. UJ v TUT 3. UCT v NWU-Pukke

Saturday, February 23: 4. NWU-Pukke v TUT 5. NMMU v Maties

Monday, February 25: 6. UJ v Kovies (televised) 7. UCT v Tuks

Saturday, March 1: 8. Tuks v Kovies

Monday, March 3: 9. NWU-Pukke v Maties (televised) 10. TUT v NMMU 11. UJ v UCT

Saturday, March 8: 12. Tuks v UJ 13. Maties v Kovies

Monday, March 10: 14. TUT v UCT (televised) 15. NMMU v NWU-Pukke

Saturday, March 15: 16. Kovies v NMMU

The Easter Weekend Festival: To be played in George where all eight teams will play three league fixtures over a period of five days.

Thursday, March 20: 17. NMMU v UJ (televised) 18. NWU-Pukke v Tuks (televised) 19. UCT v
Maties (televised) 20. TUT v Kovies (televised)

Saturday, March 22: 21. Maties v UJ 22. NWU-Pukke v Kovies 23. Tuks v TUT 24. NMMU v UCT

Monday, March 24: 25. UCT v Kovies (televised) 26. TUT v Maties (televised) 27. NWU-Pukke v UJ (televised) 28. NMMU v Tuks (televised)

Monday, March 31: 29. Semi-finals (televised)

Monday, April 7: 31. Final (televised)

Fleck's Column


A rather good read for all rugby pundits is Robbie Fleck's Column on Rugby365.com.

After reaching the pinnacle of his carreer, being iven the chance to be the guest speaker at the Nadoes Formal, he has begun his coaching carreer at UCT. He also writes from time to time.

So, give it a read. For nothing else, it will help you with your Superbru predictions! Which by the way, have to be in by today so come on!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Calling all Competitive People...

Jose Maurinho spoke of the Superbru Prediction Game a couple of weeks ago. I urge as many of you to sign up as possible. The more people that play the better. There will hopefully be some sponsored prizes for the winners and things of that nature.

It is very different to the arduous processes of Fantasy Rugby. This time all you have to do is pick a winner and by how many points!

So come on people, lets all make a vibe of it and join. The bragging rights in this game are huge! We can even put in R20 each and make hectic cash prizes for the op 3. Dunno, just a thought.

The last day to register is the 14th (yes, Valentines day ladies) so hurry the F*%K up.
Click http://www.superbru.co.za/ to sign up.

Pool Code : Snubsage

Please use a name that you can be identified by. Just do it, do it.

Truth


Monday, February 11, 2008

Have you seen the muffin man?



Last seen here at the WPCC sleeping during his two day cricket match verse Belhaar. The muffin mans form has gone missing. Once a flamboyant, somewhat extravagant batsman, the Muffin Man can’t seem to hit a cricket ball with a rail way sleeper at the moment! Maybe it’s the extra muffins he’s keeping in his cheeks or the extra time he’s been telling silly chicken jokes, but this man is just not the same anymore on the cricket field. So please if you have seen the Muffin Mans form please return it ASAP? Much love and respect to all.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Just Can't Wait!

I really am excited for the start of the rugby season in about 10 days.  Not necessarily for the rugby, but definitely for Clarke, Martin & Kearns;  a combination only rivaled by snap, crack, and pop!  Oh boy I cant wait for them to get their linguistic skills involved in this guy!  Jason Eaton - take a bow!

jason eaton

Monday, February 4, 2008

Quote for the Day

Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought. - Henri L. Bergson

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Oh my Shattered Nerves!!!

Please use up some valuable bandwidth on this beauty!!!!!

You will be singing it all day too!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Boulder 420

 

I noticed the other day that a friend of mine,whom I met on my travels to the land of the free and the fat, is attending an event at her collage which can only be described as rebellious.  Let me try and expand on that....

420

That my friends is not the site of 2 285 people (at last count) conducting a science experiment with liquid nitrogen.  No, its the site of Boulder 420 - one of the biggest mass gatherings of liberal students looking to stick one to the man.  I feel a picture is worth a thousand words (although my Afrikaans teacher in standard 7 begged to differ when it came to punishment.  Agree to disagree Mam) so just look at some of these!

420.1

420.3420.2

Boulder CO - take a bow my friends!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Slaptjips is Defecting


It is a sad day. I found this while trawling the internet.


Pieter Rossouw will join the Vodacom Bulls in the capacity of consultant backline coach for a period of two weeks starting on Monday 4 February. After this initial trial period a decision will be made about his continual involvement with the Bulls.

Rossouw is one of a number of candidates contacted by the Bulls and although he is relatively inexperience as a coach they believe he can give the Bulls' backline an extra dimension as regards to the new laws. The Bulls have a very high regard for his knowledge of the game and the players have a huge amount of respect for him.

They are hoping to restore some stability to the position after Nico le Roux left two weeks ago, only days after his appointment. Le Roux was replacing Todd Louden who has taken up a position at the Waratahs.


Its just sad. Story courtesy sarugby.com

Movies at the Moment

I dont lmow about you, but 9 times out if 10, when I go to the Movies, I dont have a clue what to watch. Here are the movies for the week, with a little explanation. I didn't write them of course, but I stole them from a reliable source.

27 Dresses: Perennial bridesmaid Jane (Katherine Heigl) is persuaded to make her own happily ever after in this chick-flick which proves good girls don't always come last.***

Atonement: A false accusation scuppers any chance two young lovers have of happiness in England on the cusp of WWII. Superbly framed shots, dramatic cinematography and meticulous costume design evoke a bygone era. ****

The Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert: shot during 15-year-old Miley's 69 city American tour, it captures the both Miley and her TV persona Hannah Montana. **

Hitchhiker: Romance about a guy who hitchhikes across South Africa to convince the girl of his dreams that he loves her. **

30 Days of Night: Josh Hartnett must protect the citizens of a small Alaskan town after vampires descend upon it during a month of darkness. ***

Alien vs Predator 2: Requiem: The increased gore and violence over the first Alien vs Predator can't excuse Requiem's disorientating editing, murky lighting, and lack of new ideas. *

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Cutely rendered, but suffers from bland potty humour and a rehashed kid's movie formula. **

American Gangster: Ridley Scott directs Oscar-winners Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe as drug peddler and narc respectively. Enough said. ****

Arthur and the Invisibles: Spotty, careening mess of a kids film that wastes its cast. A boy has to journey into a mythical civilisation to save his family. ****

The Bee Movie: The animation will keep kids amused, adults will appreciate the jokes and pop references, but the storyline meanders like a bee. ***

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead: Effective thriller marks triumphant return to form for director Sidney Lumet. ****

The Bucket List: Cynics beware of this sweet, but very enjoyable romp. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman play two ill men who embark on a quest to fill a list of things they'd like to do before "kicking the bucket". ***

The Darjeeling Limited: This self-conscious movie about literal and figurative luggage is meant to be a spiritual journey undertaken by three brothers, but it meanders too much to really engage. ***

Death at a Funeral: Sub-par British black comedy concerning a bizarrely eventful funeral. **

Elizabeth, The Golden Age: Cate Blanchett does her best to keep the film afloat, with the sets and costumes offering a visual feast. But the script is riddled with historical inaccuracies and a sense that you're watching a romance, not a biopic. **

Enchanted: When the world of fairytales and Manhattan collide, one expects a powerful explosion. Instead, the makers have played into the hearts of girls. **

Evening: Claire Danes, Vanessa Redgrave and Glenn Close wasted on a boring story. A series of romantic entanglements between friends mar a wedding. **

Feast of Love: Robert Benton's film about love and loss is free of catharsis and is neither funny nor sad. **

Gone Baby Gone: A gritty exposé of how power corrupts, told with style and interesting actors who turn it into something extraordinary. It might be behind the cameras, but Ben Affleck is back! ****

Good Luck Chuck: A limp teen rom-com with mismatched leads, distasteful humour and gratuitous sex scenes about a dentist who becomes the lucky charm for single woman. After they sleep with him, they meet Mr Right. **

Griffin and Phoenix: About two strangers who meet and fall in love, but don't disclose that they have terminal cancer. ***

Hitman: Excessive violence, incoherent plot and some inane dialogue. *

I Am Legend: About a man's plight to bring an end to mutant' dominion over New York City. Will Smith in a familiar role. ***

Into The Wild: Gorgeously filmed road trip movie about a self-indulgent boy who leaves civilisation behind to create his own happiness in the wild. ***

The Jane Austen Book Club: Six people with increasingly connected lives come together to form a book club dedicated to Ms Austen.****

Joshua: A 9-year-old boy with a penchant for suits gives sibling rivalry a deeper meaning - six feet deep. ****

La Vie en Rose: She is hailed as an icon of French culture the world over, yet little is known of Edith Piaf's tortured life. Must-see for art-house lover ****

Lovewrecked: Teenybopper tale about a star-struck girl stranded on a tropical island with her pop idol. Synopsis

Martian Child: Overly sentimental story about a widower who adopts a boy who believes he is from Mars. **

National Treasure: Book of Secrets: Roller-coaster ride of locations made exotic by history secrets and lots of code-cracking. It's indie without the insouciance. ***

P2: Full of gore, but low on suspense, the film features a cat-and-mouse plot that has been done to death. This one's scraping the barrel. **

Saw 4: If you want to test your level of tolerance for blood and gore,this offers the ultimate challenge.The grisly makeup is offset by a taut and clever script. ***

Talk to Me: With Don Cheadle in the lead and Chiwetel Ejiofor supporting, their ability to channel the drama, humour, wit and swagger of 1960s America is to be applauded. ****

We Own The Night: Joaquin Phoenix as a scoundrel turned good, Marky Mark as a bad-ass cop and Eva Mendes in a rose bustier. It doesn't get better. ***