Monday, September 10, 2007

Were They Joking?

I made the extravagant choice of frequenting the local nightclub Tiger Tiger on a Saturday this past weekend. I say 'extravagant' because of the absurd amount charged just to walk on their carpeted floors on this holy night, R50 for the use of the floor is surely a bit excessive! I see the standard R30 on a Thursday in much the same light as I do green fees at the local golf course, you going to create a couple of divots and pitch marks on the course (or the carpet for the case in point) and R30 should be adequate for the upkeep of the course. But I must say R50 is maybe just crossing the line. Not even Jake Burke could do that much damage, even before he changed his name to Dwayne a couple of years ago.

If I had to unnecessarily continue with the analogy, the course marshals are a bunch of pricks. (No, I shouldn't have continued with the analogy).

I didn't even know it was open. My bank manager had kept telling me that it was only open on Tuesdays and Thursday, and even then, that Tin Roof was a much better jol. Enough wining from my end.

What I really wanted to share with you was what I saw that night.

Western Province had just thrashed the pants off of the Sharks at Newlands 22-19, and Waylon Murray had decided to drown his sorrows at the local drinking hole. But Waylon and his mates took it to a whole new level really. His one mate didn't look like Tyrone from Snatch, he was Tyrone from Snatch (you are all already mouthing "it was a funny angle" so let me indulge you!).


What's the matter with that space over there?

It's too tight.

"Too tight?" You could land a jumbo-fu**ing-jet in there!


I didn't see it there.

It's a four-ton truck, Tyrone. It's not a Sosa packet of fu**ing peanuts, is it?

It was at a funny angle.

It's behind you, Tyrone. Whenever you reverse things come from behind you.

His other two mates had definitely used Waylon's sponsored gym card on more than one occasion, largely observable because of the fact that they had mistakenly put their non tumble dryer proof golf shirts in the tumble dryer...... twice.

It is now that I should probably mention that these golf shirt collars were standing up around the young gentlemen's necks like.... (I don't know what like, cause I don't think there is anything else that stands up around young gentlemen's necks except maybe hair and that is just not appropriate!). The three of them had their arms crossed, their biggest 'don't smile' faces and best of all they all had their backs to Waylon and his girlfriend who were having a little chat.
Were they joking? Bodyguards? Surely not! If it was Luke 'I am your Father' Watson (Darth Vader voice very necessary) I could understand because everyone hates him and I would have to hazard a guess that about 50 to 60% of the people there would like to inflict damage, but Waylon? Nope big guys, he doesn't need you. Maybe it's your way of enjoying a Saturday evening, feeling important because you know a B grade celebrity. Get a life.

P.S. The fact that I was out on Saturday night may have had something to do with my no-show at the poker..... Correlation not cause I hear the Business Science students shouting.

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