This is going Straight to the Playroom

Some headlines spotted around the Cape Town Metropole in the last few days.

 

"Cape Town Socialite involved in Cash in Transit Bust at Popular Claremont Nightclub"

"Member of Lighthouse Family Performs Impromptu Acoustic Gig in Noordhoek Restaurant"

"Family Violence Rocks Well Known Rondebosch Family"

 

Just read them on the street lights so not sure what the full stories are about, but feel the headlines are pretty descriptive.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2008...... PLAY BLACKOUT RUGBY.  If I could offer you only one piece of advice for the future, BLACKOUT RUGBY would be it.  It is a must for those bored execs out there of for those students who can find an Internet connection faster than Gordon Duffy.  It truly is good clean fun.  Not going to bore you with the details, but it is basically an online championship manager rugby game.  DO IT!

 

Oh and I found these lying around the house.....  

 

Have a good 2 day week kids....

Ladies Getting Ready for the Nadoes Formal

Mrs Right?

3GB

Keeping in touch with friends and people you have met Ie. Women you have pulled in the past (Guy), is always difficult. Facebook is a rather useful tool, but as some of us are now finding out, is unavailable at work as ‘The Man’ wont let us on while we are on his time. Well kids, I may have the answer. I have come across this site, 3gb . It is a networking site that you can share pics, mp3’s and all sorts of things. You can ‘meet’ and make new friends from all over the world, not really sure if that’s code for something else or not, but anyway. There is also a prize that you could win for signing up of $10,000. Not shabby, that will do nicely.

So kids sign up in the mean time and lets get a vibe together. We can take over this place. Not a bad way to get new music from all over the show. Who knows, maybe it might even take over facebook. I am in the process of signing up and come Tuesday morning, I will unleash it upon my work network. Will it slip through? Lets hope so, I will report back with my findings.

Great T's

Wicked Weasel...Naughty New Range

Dirty

Funny

Morning Moan

I have in fact come to the realisation that boozing is not good for you. Nor is it productive. I knew this of course before I decided to go out last night, (yes mom, im not perfect) but I just need re-affirmation. And now, as I write this at my desk, still boozed, with a R700 parking fine in my pocket (Thanks DL), I sit here wondering where it all went wrong. It was only meant to be 1 drink, just 1. But 1 turned to 2 and 2 turned to free drinks in the VIP at Wadda and that was the end of it.

Another aside, I got a call this morning at 7 from my mom. She was looking for my brother cuz he didn’t come home last night. So, I made the necessary enquiries and found him after about 30,000 calls to be passed out on a digs floor in Mowbray. God only knows where Graham Barratt is this morning, because if he is feeling anything like me this morning, good luck. It was a good send off to the Godfather last night, but rumours circulating the paddock are that he is to be staying for a couple more, surprise!

Boy or Girl?, Cereal or Celery?

MUMS-TO-BE who munched on breakfast cereals, bread and potatoes are more likely to have a boy, say researchers. And the chances of a girl are higher for those on a diet around the time of conception. Scientists think nature steps in if women consume lots of high-energy foods as it's a sign that there's plenty to eat.

Dr Fiona Mathews, who led the research at Exeter University, said: "It would have been good for our early ancestors to have boys when food was plentiful because this would have produced more grandchildren. "An abundance of girls would be better when food is in short supply as this would have produced fewer grandchildren at more regular intervals." She added: "We know from IVF treatment that high levels of glucose are linked with boys. "So maybe if fewer calories are going into the body, it is being tricked into believing food is in short supply and it would be better to have a girl."

The research team looked at the eating habits of 740 British women who didn't know the sex of their baby. The experts studied their eating habits before conception and in the early stages of pregnancy. Almost 60 per cent of women in the top third of energy intake had sons compared with fewer than half in the lowest third. As well as consuming more calories, women who had sons were more likely to have eaten a higher quantity and wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12.

There was a strong connection between women eating breakfast cereals and having sons. There is evidence that skipping breakfast is now common in the developed world. In the US, adults eating breakfast fell from 86 per cent to 75 per cent between 1965 and 1991. Mathews said that could explain the falling number of boys being born in countries such as the UK and the US.

Skipping breakfast lowers glucose levels and may trick the body into thinking there is less food about

Pleasant

Nadoes Hooker?

This Young man could be putting his hand up to fill the vacant Nadoes Hooker Position left open by the departure of KingZo.

Vandals Exposed

These vandals have been remanded in custody after they were cought defiling a car outside popular cape town restaurant Borrussos's in the wee hours of thursday morning. The restaurant owner who wished to remain anonymous was so relieved that the vandals that had been running riot in the past few weeks had been caught. " Its terrible to live a life of fear. You never know when they would show up and take over. The big guy is so scary. He just mutters in Afrikaans and throws beer at people. He is a bully. The smaller one is the mastermind behind the attacks. You can see he has held some sort of position of leadership in the past. He conducts himself with a certain coolness, and just when you think he is going to be ok, all hell breaks loose.

Their path of destuction could be wider than previously thought as reports are flooding in giving eye witness accounts of the pair awful antics. They have been dubbed in the media as the 'Terrible Two' and plagued Cape Town and Stellenbosch establishment for the better part of 5 years. If you have any information pertaining to the 'Terrible Two' please contact the local law enformement authorities. or mail playroommail@gmail.com

Have You Seen This Man?

Have anyone seen this guy? He has been reportedly frequenting the various strip clubs and whorehouses of Cape Town when he should have been confirming the Daly Cup bookings. This folks is the reason that the Daly Cup was cancelled this weekend. The Muppet booked for the wrong day, so the entire spectacular had to be cancelled. Some say it was because he knew he had no chance of winning, others say it was because he is in love and cant think straight. When contacted for a response, he make some fart noises with his mouth and could be heard singing,"Roxanne....Roxaaaaaaaaaaane!!" while stamping his feet and waving his arms.

A full investigation has been launced to get to the root of this abhoration and the guilty parties will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. We will leave no stone unturned. God help the villains that brought the Daly Cup into disrepute. The flag will be flown at half mast to comemorate this miserable event. As for this Rascal, if you see him at Oblivion (best bet) kick him in the balls.

Daly Cup Blunder!

The CEO of SA Golf Inc was given the axe after fans flocked into the MGC this morning only to find the Bells ‘bread’ mixed teeing it up.

Players and spectators gathered around the CEO’s hut demanding answers as they were clearly not going to be able to get this months Daly Cup underway. The CEO released a statement, in front of a disgruntled audience, saying that he accepts full responsibility for having to cancel this months Daly Cup. He said it was all down to a very simple error involving being able to tell the difference between the ‘S’ on a calendar for Saturday and the ‘S’ on a calendar for Sunday. When asked how someone could get that so horribly wrong he replied '42'. Perhaps they were asking him the wrong question.

The CEO will also have to appear in front of a disciplinary committee on Monday morning as the mix-up left Mowbray locals in disarray on Saturday when not 1 but 5 4-balls failed to rock up for the competition! (Picture the old guys getting heated as their mates couldn’t play due to some idiots’ incompetence)

The Daly Cup had received much hype as the draft, completed only yesterday, was released last night revealing a field full of world class players sure to put on a crowd pleasing performance. Reports revealed that the field was one of the best yet and that the current Daly Cup holder was sure to be knocked off his pedestal. The cup holder reserved comment yesterday but after the bad news of today he was seen with, what could only be described as, a look of relief on his face.

The cup will be held at a later stage and I’m sure will be better organized. Fans can return their tickets from today’s tournament for a full refund. The Daly Cup organizers apologize for the inconvenience caused and are currently looking for a new CEO.

Fastest Ultimate Fighting Knockout Ever

The topic cape up last night about butterbean Knock outs. So, I had a little squiz on youtube. And entertaining though they are, this is a pearl. Do me a favour!!

IPL Takes over!!

Not has such outrage been seen in cricket since the packer series!! Defection is the name of the game and oh yes, lots of money is involved! For those of you who have been living under a rock, the IPL is the Indian Premier League, and is a 20/20 tournament boasting such teams as the Mohali Punjab Kings and the Delhi Daredevils. Normally, the whole world would not take such an interest in a domestic competition such as this, but what makes this tourni so sick is that there is massive money behind it and thus, the worlds top players have been bought!

No, i didn't cook out, they were bough in an AUCTION!! A player auction similar to the NFL Draft picks. How sick. The most expensive players were:

Mahendra Singh Dhoni, India, US$1.5m

Andrew Symonds, Australia, US$1.35m

Sachin Tendulkar, India, US$1.121m

Sourav Ganguly, India, US$1.092m

Yuvraj Singh, India, US$1.064m

Rahul Dravid, India, US$1.035m

Sanath Jayasuriya, Sri Lanka, US$975,000
Ishant Sharma, India, US$950,000

Jacques Kallis, South Africa, US$900,000

Virender Sehwag, India, US$833,750
Chris Gayle, West Indies, US$800,000

The Indians obviously fetched the most, but kallis managed a reasonable $900k, not bad for a few weeks work. The action kicks off today and it sees the Bangalore Royal Challengers pitting their might against the Kolcatta Knight Riders. What Names, very retro.

The Saffers That are involved are:

Jaques Kallis

Albie Morkel
Morne Morkel
Makhaya Ntini
AB De Villiers
Herschelle Gibbs

Graeme Smith
Shaun Pollock

Ashwell Prince

Loots Bosman

For a full look at the teams and all the fixtures click here

Minister of What Now?

Daily you hear people talking about the minster of this and the minister of that, but do we really even know who they are? The SA Cabinet (thats wht they are collectively known as) has always eluded me in the intricacies of its dealings. Ok, there are a few well known faces, such as Manto and stofile, but apart from a select few, they are relative unknows to a relative political novice. If someone asks you, who is the minister of transport, will you be able to answer? F@#K no you wont. Why, because its boring.

Well kids, as we are growing up, these are the things that we need to know so that when you meet your next girlfriends parents for the first time and round the dinner table talking about the state of the transport system in South Africa (as one does) you may interject and utter "That Jeffrey Radebe is an idiot" and nod your head knowingly. And that will be it. The parents-in-law will be so impressed that the mother night try and blow you herself. Needless to say, you will be alowed to "sleep" over as much as you want, even if it is just for 25 minutes after work. And on those actual sleep overs, bacon and eggs will be waiting for you alongside the morning paper.

So, in summation kids, learn these ministers and it will improve your sex life and eradicate all erectile dysfunction. What is a tangent. Back to the main point though, i have left a list of the cabinet ministers including their pictures at the link below so you can see who is running this country. I have also left a Report card published by the mail and guardian on how the ministers are performing, also worth a read for extra credit.

List of Cabinet Ministers

Report Card

This is going straight to the Playroom

It doesn't take an engineer to realise that this site is challenging Keplers' first-class career strike rate in terms of published articles.  This is largely due to the fact that the Great Dwayne is now adding to the GDP of the Republic, while yours truly has been coming to grips with the beast that is GDA (a monster of a course for not in the now).  Our other part time contributor (renowned for his short pieces) was always going to have his hands full trying to keep the Dirty Whites (less commonly known as the Village People) from the relegation zone in the Super A league this year.

It is because of this low run-rate set by the top order (although I see that amends has sort have been made now!) that I have decided to try write a small piece on a weekly basis that will hopefully give you something to read when bored at work or varsity.  It will be called "This is going straight to the Playroom", borrowed and adapted from comfortably the best movie ever made, The Castle.

Basically it will be like a 'best of the week' thing..... something that I hear or read or come up with where I think (and I do think in an Aussie accent) "This is going straight to the playroom!"

First up a bit of black humor I enjoyed, especially topical albeit  bit old as there feud started a while back:

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg.  Personally, I think it's prosthetic.  News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has  separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split.  "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has  happened, I'm really stumped"  "She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's  easy to walk out on a relationship like this". 

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in  the world, and  if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

Rumors abound over the split which have suggested that  infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated,  "always trying to get her
leg over".  Another source has suggested that her battle with  alcoholism was the cause.  "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would  get home
at night and find her legless".

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with  the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another  woman who can fill her shoe.

Will see you kids at Mowbray on Sunday Afternoon, and if you don't know who I am - I'm the guy holding the trophy.

Daly Cup Hotting Up

The Announcement of the Daly Cup Date has stirred the Cape Town Golfing fraternity into action. Reports and sightings have been flooding in from the general public and fans alike telling of how Cape Towns finest have come out of the woodwork.

It is rumoured that Paul Brewis might be making a comeback to golf after the golfing disaster of '99. He reportedly played so badly in a tournament that he vowed never to play the game again. News has come in that he has alledgedly been working with a Dutch Pharmaceutical Company to get over his fear of the Game and lack of BMT. He has spent many intense sessions with the Dutch Marketing Director working on his image and general branding. They have apparently been leaving no stone unturned or bed unmade to get his game back on track. Many attribute the many hours of personal training given by the dedicated dutch lass to Brewis's new found lease on life.

Croc McConnachie is rumoured to be making his Daly Cup debut next Sunday as he joins the trail of players looking to take the coveted crown. He has performed well in previous big competitions such as the Burberry Cup and Fancourt Shootout. He has a wise head on his shoulders and that is waht is needed in these big Competitions. His only downfall is his recurring injury which he feels neccessar to see "the Doctor" up to 3 times a rounds for. Let us hope he stays injury free and makes a good go of it. Will the old adage ring true yet again? You cant win a Daly Cup on your first attempt.

Villager Manager Charles Sanderoff is also rumoured to have his sights set on the coveted title. He has come close on a few occasions and will be looking to get his name on the cup. Having played in amany international events he has the experience to win at this level and many are touting him to be the one to topple Allenbrook and stop him doing the unthinkable, winning an unpresidented 3 in a row.

There are still a few spots open so get in quick to book your place in Golf's Greatest Challenge. Watch this space for further developments and press releases.

A Hurricane spotted in Rondebosch

You wake up in the morning, get dressed and have your coco pops, brush your teeth and then go off to work, varsity or just get the newspaper from the front lawn. The air is crisper, the washing on the line doesn’t dry as fast and the South Easter changes into a North Wester. You can taste it; the Cape winter is upon us and with winter comes the great game of rugby.

A major part of this winter phenomenon, rugby, is socializing and having a few coolies with the boys and girls. No better place to socialize than the BRSC (Bosch Rugby Supporters Club). Have a few beers, a great meal, listen to All Black legend Ian Kirkpatrick and meet a few of the Hurricanes. Oh yes and of cause support Bosch rugby. Joining this club is a must!

That’s whats happening this Friday at 6pm in the Centenary Pavilion at Rondebosch. A BRSC function of the highest order which will see rugby celebrities mingle in alcohol plentiful place.

All Rondebosch supporters and friends are invited to join the club and join in the festivities. So come down on Friday for what promises to be a hurricane of an experience. Who knows you might meet Jerry?

Daly Cup Confirmed

The date has been confirmed. Sunday the 20th of April will see the running of the 6th Daly Cup. It will see a record field size of 20 due to expanding demand. Current Daly Cup holder Dayne Allenbrook will be playing in the prestigous event and will be looking to make it 3 Daly Cup victories in a row.

The first 4-ball will be off at 11:30 and from then on, all hell will break loose! Murray King is in scintillating form and has expressed his desire to break the stranglehold Allenbrook has on the Cup. Tom Dawson-Squibb, Jambles Charton and Charles Sanderoff have also been confirmed in the field as well as many other of Cape Town's top Golfers.

The field is limited to 20 players so if you want to play get hold of Dayne or Jambles asap to confirm your place. Watch this space for the full field and tee of times.

50 Comes to Cape Town

Hip-hop star 50 Cent and G-Unit will return to South Africa after their successful tour in August 2004.
The outfit will perform at the Coca-Cola Dome in Johannesburg on Worker’s Day (May 1), and at the Bell- ville Velodrome in Cape Town on May 3.

Tickets are R250 for general admission and R400 for golden circle
Doors open at 6pm for the show starting at 8pm.

G-Unit is made up of 50 Cent, Young Buck, Lloyd Banks and Tony Yayo. Like most American bling boys, 50 Cent not only had to overcome a lot of challenges, but also had to pull himself hard to become one of America’s best-selling hip-hop-rap artist in the world.

The Americans will deliver a killer performance comprising their lively hip-hop songs.
They will also thrill their fan base with evergreen hits such as 21 Questions, Out of Control and the latest Timbaland collaboration, Ayo Technology.

Shark Cage Divng Deaths

Three tourists drowned on Sunday after a shark diving boat was hit by a "freak wave" and capsized half a nautical mile off Kleinbaai, near Gansbaai.Two were seriously injured and a number treated for shock.There were 19 people on the 11-metre catamaran Shark Team - 10 foreign tourists and nine crew members. Two of the victims were American, and one Norwegian.

The names were not released pending family notification. "Our hearts and sincere feelings go out to the families. It's obviously been very traumatic for all involved," said Charmaine Beukes, owner of White Shark Projects, which operated the boat. The water was calm when the boat went out early in the morning. "The sea was flat, absolutely flat. It was fantastic conditions to go out to sea, and this wave actually came out of nowhere," said industry spokesperson Mariette

Hopley, chairperson of the Great White Shark Foundation. There was a southeasterly wind of 10 to 15 knots and an approximately two-metre swell, according to the NSRI.A British survivor, who asked not to be named, said the boat was preparing to return to shore about 10.15am when he and his wife saw a huge, "tsunami-like" wave 100 metres away. It was his first time shark-diving, "something I had always wanted to do". He and his wife watched another shark diving boat ride over it, he said, but as it came near them the captain realised that they were in trouble.

He said that the skipper shouted to them to grab hold of something, and then the wave crashed over the boat, causing it to roll.By the time he and his wife broke the surface another shark diving boat was already there rescuing people. His wife fractured a shoulder in the accident. "I've never seen anything like it. Nothing in the world would have stood a chance, except maybe an ocean liner. You don't even have time to think," he said.One of the victims was trapped underneath the boat, Hopley said. He was found by divers and taken to shore. Paramedics found a weak pulse and tried to resuscitate the man in an ambulance so that he could be stabilised and airlifted to hospital, but they were not able to and he was pronounced dead in the ambulance.

The other two men who drowned were found in the water, taken to shore by a rescue boat, and pronounced dead on arrival. Two passengers were taken to hospital, one with a broken foot and the other with a shoulder injury, while others were treated for shock. Hopley said that all eight local shark diving companies operate in the same designated area, and that several other boats were nearby when the wave hit. Videographer Sarah Dix was aboard the White Pointer, a boat operated by Unreal Dives, which had just arrived and was preparing to drop anchor when the wave passed through: "It was massive. This wave was just huge." Dix said she saw the large swell pass by another shark-diving boat.

She was still looking at that boat to ensure that its crew and passengers were safe when she noticed the Shark Team had overturned 10m away. Dix said the Shark Team's skipper was gathering passengers, getting them on to the overturned hull. Other passengers were pulled onto another shark diving boat: "The crew were just hauling them on. There were actually sharks around, so it was a case of getting as many people out of the water."Hopley said that none of the bodies had any injuries or physical marks that would suggest that they had been attacked by sharks. Dix said the accident happened quickly, and the rescue effort was instant: "It was so under control... It was dealt with very well."The passengers were not wearing lifejackets, Beukes said, and none of the companies in their area require passengers to wear them at all times.

A late christmas Present...

A late Christmas Present...


happy christmas.

Hayden Kross

She is more than Average looking. Enjoy her Kids, Her name is Kayden Kross and she is a belter. Its about time till some smut arrived!! A simple internet search will reveal some seriously NSFW pics. I added one in for your enjoyment. Didi you see it? Clever hey??