Boozing at Work

Boozing at work. It’s a grey area. Well let me actually rephrase that, not actually boozing while you are AT work, but rather coming to work boozed/hungover. As I write you this, I am using superhuman strength (yes I have it ladies) to keep my eyes from shutting and me falling face first onto my keyboard. Now, for those of you who don’t work, you cant possibly comprehend the anguish one goes through. Others like Donkey and Ruth have become all too familiar with it. Kids its not a normal hangover.

Now I can already hear people moaning and groaning, saying “Iv had lots of hangover before, whats different? Well its this. You have to appear so sober, but its worse than that. You actually have to function and have meetings and interact with other sober workers. It’s a nightmare! There are a few tell tale stages of a boozy worker.

What comes first is the ‘laggies’. Here everything seems ridiculously funny and the sufferer will float around effortlessly as if carried by unseen angels. Then, after a few hours comes the ‘parries’ Stage (pronounced p-arry-s and is said to be coined by a well known Cape Town Name, Deax he is also rumoured to have invented the High 5.) The Parries Stage is the first time the Boozer realises that this was probably not the best idea. This is where the ‘LC’ first starts to hit home and the realisation comes that you are not as cool as you thought you were. The laggies start fading away and a cloud starts to come over you. This is when the final stage hits. The Bleakness. Here kids the boozer is at rock bottom. He/she is often heard to utter phrases like “Im never boozing again”, “Was there any need for last night” and “Why did I do that”. These are all empty promises of course. They are often made to console the Boozer and make it feel like they are not bad people.

That’s my rant for the day. Enjoy the evening kids. Play safe, stay in school.