The Playroom

8th Edition of the Daly Cup

2011-08-15T15:03:00.000+02:00

Date : 14 Aug 2011

Venue: King David

Players: D.Allenbrook, T Dawson Squibb, C Sanderoff, M King, G Colussi, R Morris, J Elley, N McConnachie

Winner: T Dawson Squibb (68)

Runner Up: N McConnachie (76)

Wooden Spoon: G Colussi (88) (108,20)

Tuesday Football

2011-04-19T18:35:00.001+02:00

Monday Football

2011-04-18T18:37:00.001+02:00

Sunday Football

2011-04-17T14:22:00.003+02:00

Arsenal v Liverpool - Over 2.5g @ 1.9 -1

Bayern v Leverkusen - Bayern @ 2 +1

Dortmund v Freiberg - Dortmund -1.5 @1.8 +0.8

Napoli v Udinese - Napoli @ 1.72 -1

Deportivo v Santander - Deportivo @2.1 +1.1

Levante v Hercules - Levante @ 2.1 +1.1

Benfica v Beira-Mar, Porto v Sp Lisbon - Benfica & Porto @ 2.16 +1.16

Lazio v Catania - Under 2.5g @ 1.7 -1

PSG v Lyon - Over 2.5g @2.2 -1

Feyenoord v Willem II - Over 2.5g @ 1.42 +0.42

Bank = 5580

unit = 112

res = +1.58

R res = +177

New Bank = 5757

Unit = 115

Return = 15%

Friday Football

2011-04-17T14:05:00.002+02:00

Norwich v Nott Forest - Norwich @ 2.02+1.02

Southend v Bradford - Southend @ 2.01 +1.01

Mainz v MGladbach - Mainz @ 2.08 +1.08

Fortuna Dusseldorf - Union - Under 2.5 g@ 1.78 -1

Frankfurt v Munich 1860 - Over 2.5g @ 1.94 +0.94

Inglostadt v Bochum - Bochum -0 @2.1 -1

Evian v Istres - u2.5g @ 1.52 -1

Troyes v Angers - u2.5g @ 1.55 -1

Laval v Nimes - u2.5g @ 1.5+0.5

Agovv v Almere - O2.5g @ 1.65 +0.65

Bank = 5452

unit = 107

res = +1.2

R Res = +128.4

New Bank = 5580

New Unit = 112

Return = 12%

Rugby Betting 15 & 16 April

2011-04-15T08:24:00.003+02:00

Chiefs v Crusaders - CRU -10.5 @0.95 +0.95

Blues v Waratahs - BLU -5.5 @ 0.9 +0.9

Brumbies v Force BRU -7.5 @ 0.9 -1

Bank = 5361

Unit = 107

Result = +0.85

R Result = +91

New Bank = 5452

New Unit = 109

Return = 9%

Football Betting 13 Apr

2011-04-13T16:05:00.004+02:00

Tottenham v Real Madrid - BTTS @ 1.63 -1

Schalke v Inter - Schalke @ 2.74 +1.74

Schalke v Inter - Over 2.5 goals @ 1.7 +0.7

Bank = 5116

Unit = 102

Result = +2.44

R Result = + 249

New Bank = 5365

New Unit = 107

Return = 7%

Football Betting 12 Apr

2011-04-12T17:21:00.007+02:00

Leicester v Crystal Palace - Over 2.5 Goals @ 1.83 (VC) -1

Millwall v Bristol - Millwall @ 1.72 (VC) -1

Swansea v Hull - Swansea @ 1.73 (SB) -1

St Johnstone v Celtic - Celtic -1 @ 1.7 (VC) +0

Sheffield UTD v Cardiff - Under 2.5 goals @ 1.88 (VC) +0.88

Barcelona v Shakhtar - Over 2.5 goals @ 1.72 (VC) -1

Bank = 5456

Unit = 109

Result = -3.12

R Res = -340

New Bank = 5116

New Unit = 102

Return = 2%

Football Bets this Evening

2011-04-11T22:47:00.003+02:00

Liverpool v Man City - Liverpool @ 2.69 +1.69

Zaragoza v Getafe - Zaragoza @ 2.16 +1.16

Braga v Guimaraes - Braga @ 1.89 +0.89

All VC.

Bank = 5080

Unit = 102

Res = +3.74

R Res = +381

New Bank = 5461

New Unit = 109

Return = 9%

Super 15 Handicap Betting

2011-04-07T18:06:00.008+02:00

Trying out a little handicap betting, below are selection, i have been boring and have taken all the favourites. bread. In Blue are the ones I have put cash on.

Highlanders v Cheetahs - HGH - 12.5

Crusaders v Bulls - CRU - 9.5 +0.9

Brumbies v Hurricanes - BRU -2.5

Force v Waratahs - WAR -6.5 +0.9

Stormers v Reds - STO - 8.5 -1

Sharks v Lions - SHA - 11.5

Bank = 5000

Unit = 100

Res = +0.8

R Res = +80

New Bank = 5080

New Unit = 102

Return = 2%

Footie this weekend, Racing today

2011-02-11T10:52:00.003+02:00

Man Utd Man City Derby this weekend and if Man utd win it could put to bed the title chase. In my humble opinion, anyway, I am sure I will have a spot of cash on it one way or another.

But for today we turn our attentions to the race track for the meeting at fairview. We will have a dip on one of the races and hope for the best as the horse whisperer has given us a horse that he likes.

Break a leg!!

A new direction maybe?

2011-01-14T10:56:00.003+02:00

Sports betting has long been a passion of mine, and thus, I will (hopefully)be writing a bit more on the subject. And thus you will note the change in header!!

So now the blog has it all, smut booze and gambling. My mom will be proud.

Best T-Shirt ever!

2010-09-22T10:56:00.001+02:00

La Castle Vania - Assembly

2010-09-15T10:32:00.001+02:00

It was a pushing it party. A picture paints a thousand words...

Daly Cup Epic Finish

2010-09-13T16:22:00.003+02:00

The Daly Cup came to a thrilling climax on Sunday evening at the De Zalze Golf Club and estate. At the turn it was pretty even going with The Meerkat holding onto a slender 1 stroke advantage over the Main Cheese, with Donk, CHarles Roff and the Great Dayne a further 2 strokes back.

It was here that the Meerkat, who seemed to be feeling the ill effects of the awesome burger at halk way, lost the plot and any chance of winning his maiden Daly Cup. An errant tee shot saw his drive out of bounds, and after running back to the tee to hit another, banged the second out of bounds too. Donk also began to capitualte here on the 10th as this saw him put together 3 straight doubles.

It was the Great Dayne however who managed to keep it together on the stroke 2 and sink a legthy birdie putt for a 4 point swing on the leader thus catapulting himself into the lead. Solid golf kept him there until the final hole. Meanwhile the Ruth had been quietly moving up the leaderboard with some solid golf and standing on the 18th tee box found himself only 1 back. Both Great and Ruth had monster drives on the short Par 4 18th leaving themselves 30m in for their 2nd. Great playing in front of Ruth, was standing over an 8ft birdie putt for the title and managed to 3 putt, missing a 3ft putt coming back!

With it all to do, Ruth, in what can only be described as on of the most remarkable shots of the day, thinned his ball through the bunker and it rolled right through and onto the green, stopping 8ft ftom the hole. He then stood over this putt of only 8 ft to win the Daly Cup on his first attempt and with steely resolve he drained it to take the title by a solitary stroke from a distraught Great Dayne.

Charles Roff walked away with the wooden spoon for most golf, but it was a hotly contested affair with the woeful Donk and defending champion Nic Mac, who might as well not have turned up.

DALY CUP RECORDS
Most Golf: JADH Charton 99 (net)
Lowest round (gross): D Allenbrook 75
Lowest round (net): D Allenbrook 68
Biggest winning margin: N McConnachie 5 shots

PAST CHAMPIONS
19/07/07 MJ King (Mowbray)
14/08/07 S Mortlock (Mowbray)
25/10/07 J Charton (Royal Cape)
18/12/07 D Allenbrook (Mowbray)
17/02/08 D Allenbrook (Mowbray)
10/08/08 N McConnachie (Mowbray)

12/09/10 R Morris (De Zalze)

Wozniacki dress too short?

2010-09-09T09:44:00.003+02:00

Is there such a thing?

Below is th article from Huffington Post:

Caroline Wozniacki is enjoying a terrific U.S. Open. On Monday, the 20-year-old sensation ousted Maria Sharapova to advance to the quarterfinals. Her dress, which barely covered any of her legs, was noticeable to many viewers. After the match, Wozniacki was asked about the outfit during a press conference.

"I think it's nice," she said, adding that she will "get a lot of male fans now" due to the revealing dress. Previously, she shared her thoughts on "very pretty" Anna Kournikova.

The Danish tennis player is not the only woman to draw attention due to her U.S. Open attire. Venus Williams' skimpy dress was a hot topic over Labor Day weekend.

Scroll down for photos of Wozniacki's dress. What do you think of it?

Surely not?

Wozniacki vs Sharapova

2010-09-07T10:15:00.006+02:00

The US open served up something special last night with two of the loviest ladies of the game doing battle in the womens 4th round at Flushing Meadows in New York.

Caroline Wozniacki the top seeded Dane was in action against the returning from injury Maria Sharapova. The crowds were packed into cetre court to watch the ladies do battle, and they were not dissapointed with Wozniacki running out an eventual winner 6-4, 6-3.

Below are images from the match (not really)....delightful.

Jardine Restaurant

2010-09-06T10:24:00.004+02:00

On Saturday it was Puppy's birthday so we went to Jardine on Bree street to celebrate. The establishmant is a rather good bakery during the day and a boutique fine dining restaurant by night. It was recomended to me by The Pecan Farmer, so I decided to give it a try.

On walking in, we were met by the host, a pretty blond girl, rather surprisingly not of eatern european descent, and were led upstairs to our table. We were waited upon by no less than 4 waiters in the first 5 minutes! It was hectique! Bringing us wine, breads, souflee'd starters, weird little tasters in spoons, all sorts of hectic little tasty things. I was quite taken aback. We were not particularly hungry owing to the huge lunch we had had, so each ordered the 2 course option (R240 pp) of a starter and main. The food came with rather quickly, and was absolutely delicious. It looked like art, not food. Each dish created with painstaking attention to detail. The mussels were out of this world, and I was assured that these were the best Puppy had ever tasted!

On to our mains and the duck I had was insane! Prob the tastiest meat I have eaten, it was truly awesome. A full 10/10 must go to Jardine and the vibe they put out. It has an air of pure class. The staff are friendly and know their stuff, be it the menu or the varied wine selection. The only deterrant might possibly be the price, Ideally what you would want to go for would be the 3/4/5 course options, and this will set you back between R300 and R450 pp. But if you were looking for one of the best dining experiences in Cape Town, then you must look no further than Jardine.

Forty Love?

2010-09-03T08:35:00.006+02:00

The US Open Tennis has caught my attention at the moment, not for the unrivalled tennis prowess on offer, or for the big vibe that the US Open puts out.

No, it is because of the absolute crackers that have emerged from seeminginly nowhere into the ladies game! Move over Anna K, these are some of the new belters in town. I introduce to you, in no particular order...

Maria Kirilenko

Nicole Vaidisova

Sorana Cirstea

Caroline Wozniacki

Alona Bondarenka

Not half bad. Enjoy the tennis!!

Nadoes hit 50 in the Semi!!

2010-09-02T12:35:00.003+02:00

In what can only be described as a lesson in the prowess of running rugby, the unstoppable Nadoes machine rolled on last night on the green mile with a 54-0 thrashing of the Marquad old Boys.

They came out of the blocks firing and were definately up for the game. But very early on the Nadoes stamped their authority on the game with a solid forward movement which ended in Bermuda powering over for the opener. Lockers duly added the extras and the Nadoes were up and running. The MOB continued to contest at the breakdowns and won a few penalties. But it always just felt like a matter of time.

The straw that broke the camels back came in the form of the try of the match for phil the drill with Great Dayne throwing a hail mary pass to The-O who sidled past his man and put the drill away to dot down under the sticks.

From then on it looked like an insurmountable task and with the beginning of the second half, cam the beginning of the end for the MOB. The Nadoes then ran amuck and cut the opposing backline to shreds. The subs were rolling and it seemed to make no difference as the tries continued with prolific abandon.

It was an out and out rugby f*ckshow. The crowd loved it and the ladies were wetter than the field.

Daly Cup Revival

2010-09-01T09:10:00.005+02:00

It has been ages since the last running of the Daly Cup. It was on that fateful day that the Croc grabbed the most coveted prize in Cape Town Golf.

Rumours are flying around as to the identity of the players that will make up this iterations field. Names like Ruth Morris, Charles Roff and Thomas Vaughan have been used, and in what could be an amazing occurrence, the 2 time champion and only player ever to win the Daly cup back to back with a competition record of 75, the Great Dayne could be dusting off he clubs and throwing his name back into the mix to vy for this awesome prize.

Murray King will probably be in attendance and will be trying his utmost not to land the wooden spoon for a record breaking 5th time.

For past winners and records as well as the previos tournaments write-ups look below.

Nadoes Rule Supreme

2010-04-19T11:04:00.002+02:00

In what can only be described as a classy affair, the Nadoes ran out 15 - 0 winners over a spirited Panthers outfit on Wednesday Evening on the Green Mile.

Shafiek Nordien was the star of the show running in all three of the Nadoes tries, with the last being a superb solo effort that saw him collect 60m out and round 3 players to score under the poles untouched.

The post match changeroom was epic, with all leaving a lot more boozed than when they entered. The songscarried on far into the night and off to Ivy league where the boys continued to jol.

This week sees the Nadoes enjoying a bye and probably a friendly game against False Bay.

Ucha cha.

Re-Launch...

2010-04-12T16:22:00.002+02:00

OK kids, been ages since the playroom has gotten going. And I feel its about time for that again.

So, in the next few days/weeks, I will be whipping the writers back into action and on we shall go. Full steam ahead!!

SWINE FLU?

2009-05-20T13:14:00.001+02:00

Common Spectacular Round Up

2009-03-12T09:34:00.002+02:00

Blustery conditions met the competitors yesterday evening when they assembled at the start line of the Rondebosch Common Spectacular. There was an air of tension amid the competitors prior to the start, each sizing up the other readying themselves to do battle on the 5km course ahead. A 100 strong field took to the start line and the gun went off and it was on!!

Chukka Charts strode out to the front with Kenyan like simplicity and looked as if he was in a defiant mood. He was followed closely by the bunch who kept him in their sights. He led at the 1km mark posting a 3:50 first km. It was then he turned down the hospital mile and powered through the biting gale with Great Dayne tucked in just behind and Elley, Donkey and Beef Jordaan grouped in a couple of lengths back. It was clear that the wind and the brisk start was beginning to take its toll on the Irish folk singer and he began to tire towards the end of Hospital Mile. Great Dayne took over the front running momentarily around the 2km mark, but Elley made a decisive move just after the 2km marker, the years and injuries seeming to melt away with every step. He opened up a 20s lead at the half way mark going through at 9:42.

Travelling support in the form of the Scotsman arrived, despatching drinks to the competitors and offering wise words of encouragement as a few of the competitors started to tire. Elley had kept his lead along the Rustenburg side and hit hospital mile for the last time with his 20s lead still intact and looking in fine form to take the Common Spectacular (as it was renamed) for the second time in a row. Chasing him were the Great Dayne, a few lengths further back were Beefy and Chukka who had now fallen well off the pace with that uncharacteristic schoolboy error in the first km, with Donkey a few paces further back.

But road running is a funny old sport, just when Elley looked to have it all but sewn up, he began to show signs of fatigue, as Hospital Mile began to take its toll. This left the door open for Allenbrook who was now gaining ground on Elley with the help of his Ethiopian pacemaker, Elias.

By the time they rounded the corner and headed into the final straight, Elley and Allenbrook were neck and neck. It would all be down to the last 300m with the Scotsman providing a full running commentary from the safety of his bike. Allenbrook was the first to break 250m out, he strode out hoping Elley would lose touch, but this was to no avail as Elley remained in tow and the move was squashed. Elley then made the decisive break 150m from home and it was one that was not followed by a shattered Allenbrook. He sprinted away to claim his second victory in a row in a winning time of 20:02, beating Allenbrook into 2nd by 10s.

The Results were as follows:
1) Jason Elley 20:02
2) Dayne Allenbrook 20:12
3) Michael Charton 21:30
4) Bernaard Jordaan 21:35
5) Graham Barrett 22:30

It must be mentioned that Neil Quayle was nowhere to be seen. After all the media hype and big talking, the veteran of 26 comrades marathons and 32 2oceans Marathons was a notable absence in the strong field. In his press conference he gave a Shabir Shaik'esque performance and revealed that his health had deteriorated to such an extent that he was unable to get any revolutions on the ball in the nets. "I cant even get Gio Colussi out" were his words. He even went on to hint that it was affecting his performance in the bedroom, but these rumours are as of yet unconfirmed.

All the competitors were irate at the fact that Quayle had pulled out and many were calling for a life ban calling his behaviour "disgraceful" and "uncouth". The Nadoes Running Association have the matter under review and a decision is expected later in the week. Tom Dawson-Squibb was also not in attendance which was a pity because many were looking forward to the battle between him and Barrett. The recently engaged, stick like father of 2 was unavailable for comment on his non-arrival.

Perfect Market Conditions (PMC)

2009-03-09T12:05:00.001+02:00

It was a hectique weekend for all concerned. The stormers were crap, SA Cricket was even worse, and I'm sun burnt. Well not too badly actually, just a bit rosy around the cheeks, but its slightly uncomfortable, but more about that later.

I'm feeling a little bleak this morning. Nothing I can put my finger on, just a general feeling of uneasiness. You know, that minge feeling you have when you are LC'ing about not studying for a test or you have to face your mates after scoring a fat bird. Don't get me wrong, I don't reeeeaaaly have anything serious to complain about, ill prob just file this under a Monday morning moan(alliteration, nice).

I rarely get very bleak at work to spite what most may think. Its really not that bad. But something that tweaks me to no end is office politics. Its painful. Often you want to tell a brain dead co-worker/boss to F@#k off and get laid, but alas, that would get you fired. Its unfair really, can you imagine how cool the office environment would be if you were free to say what you pleased? Ill call this unlikely phenomenon Perfect Market Conditions or PMC as it will come to be known. It would be a wildly entertaining place! Imagine, the following scenario:

Boss: "Chuck have you finished that report I asked you to do, you know, the one for the important client I left on your desk at 5pm on Friday?"

Current Reply:
Chuck"No Sir, I was busy finishing my clients performance stats, ill get it done right away for you."

Reply under Perfect Market Conditions (PMC)
Chuck:"Well, I left early on Friday so I could get 18 holes of golf in before I got smashed and had a threesome with your wife and a Russian stripper. So that's a resounding NO to your query you irritating man. PS Tell your wife I need my handcuffs back."

Can you imagine? Wow it would make work a massive vibe!! pleasant...

Anubis Safety

2009-03-09T09:53:00.001+02:00

F@#K You im an Anteater

2009-03-05T15:42:00.002+02:00

This had me in stiches...

Elley Fighting Fit

2009-03-05T14:28:00.003+02:00

Jason Elley recorded his first win of the 2009 running season with a well timed burst 100m from home to clinch the season opening leg of the Common Cup in difficult conditions in Rondebosch Yesterday.

Elley flew past a tiring Allenbrook who had led for the entire race to a winning time of 20:12, 12s ahead of his rival. THere had been reports circulating about the mental stability of Elley and some questions asked about his fitness.

But the veteran showed no signs of the injury that kept him out for most of last year and put in a solid performance. "It wasn't a sub 20min run, but in the conditions I was happy with it. Its nice to get back out there, to mix it up again. I am very happy with my training and am confident I will be able to go Under 90 min in the Oceans." a visibly jubilant Elley remarked.

There were a few who were notable by their absence, Quayle, Dawson-Squibb, Barrett, Charton and van den Berg were a few that were missing.

The bar has been set. Elley has blown the field away and left the competitors eating their words. He later had this to say at his Press conference from forries: "Quayle is a has been. Ill run him off his feet. Im looking to thrash him next week in the time trial. I dare you to come beat me on my turf."

Hectique...

Singapore Harbour

2009-03-05T14:27:00.000+02:00

This is a photo of Singapore Harbour. All the ships are lying unused because there is no use for them in the current financial situation. Sucks to be you...

Elley Past It?

2009-03-03T10:47:00.001+02:00

It has been rumoured that once-fit Cape Town runner Jason Elley is thinking of competing in the 2Oceans Half Marathon this year. It is reported that he is in a general state of dissarray ath the moment, this being compounded by his resounding loss in the Cojones Squash Match last Night in Rondebosch.

Many of the fans are calling for him to retire from the sport of professional road running, stating that he is past it and a sub 90 time is well out of his reach. He underwent surgery on a troubled foot late last year but all reports suggest that he had a satisfactory recovery and that this should not interfere in any way with his ability to run.

Some of his rivals were interviewed and were unanimous in their views of the fallen runner. "He has no chance of beating me, I'll leave him in my dust." said Neil Quayle, while Barratt had this to say, "Jason Elley is a JOKE! He is past it. Dont irritate me with questions about that fool."

So, now the only question remains is, Will Jason Elley silence his critics and attempt to regain some pride? Or will he sulk away from the challenge and remain lost to the running world.

Rozzels is a Rockstar

2009-02-27T08:49:00.004+02:00

It's been quite a big fortnight for FNB UCT flyhalf Matt Rosslee. In between picking up successive Man of the Match awards in the FNB Varsity Cup presented by Steinhoff International, the gutsy No.10 also celebrated his birthday.

Rosslee turned 22 this past Tuesday, just a day after he nonchalantly 'chipped' over a 35-metre penalty goal in the wet to hand UCT a thrilling 24-22 victory over the (then) table-topping FNB Tukkies.

The unassuming No.10 walked off with the official Man of the Match honours - much to his teammates' delight! - but for him, the win was more important for the team than any role he played in achieving the victory.

"The guys have been pestering me to buy them a few drinks," chuckled Rosslee. "But to be honest, it's not about me winning any awards, it's about the team winning games and we achieved that on Monday, despite not playing very well."The Ikey Tigers went down 0-13 in the first half against Tukkies - "we were half asleep", according to Rosslee - but the Capetonians showed tremendous character to fight back and eventually grab a late, but crucial victory."Winning (a game) like we did on Monday is the sign of a good side," said Rosslee to varsitycup.co.za.

"I think we're growing as a team each and every week, but the best thing about this side is its spirit and camaraderie - we just love playing together and for each other."There was a lot of talk before the 2009 Varsity Cup about this UCT team. Aside from the big names on its coaching staff, many wondered whether the Ikeys would be able to repeat their near-success of 2008 when they thrilled friend and foe alike en route to the final.With the likes of Kyle Brown (SA Sevens) and Mat Turner (England Sevens) moving onto pastures anew, and with Herbie Mayosi (Forward of the Tournament) and James Martin (Back of the Tournament) no longer eligible for the Varsity Cup (due to being too old), questions were asked... and promptly answered.

"I think, in the beginning, people were comparing us to last year's team," admitted Rosslee, himself a star of the 2008 UCT outfit. "But that's stopped now. We're a new team, with new players and we have a chance to make a name for ourselves in the 2009 Varsity Cup."Of course, having the likes of Jake White, Bob Skinstad, Tim Noakes and Sherryle Calder alongside John Dobson (head coach), Robbie Fleck (backline coach) and Selborne Boome (lineout coach) on the UCT management also makes life a bit easier for the Men in Blue and White."It's such a professional set-up at the club," enthused Rosslee.

"It's obviously an honour to learn from people like Jake, Bob and Sherryle - all of whom are World Cup winners - but it's quite inspiring for us players when we know that they're putting in all this time and effort simply for the love of the game."

On a personal level, the 2009 Varsity Cup is shaping up as yet another satisfactory campaign for Matt Rosslee. Having scored 82 points in 2008 - ending second on the overall points-scoring charts - he is currently in third position after four matches in 2009, having notched up 45 points; just five behind the top man, Maties' Donald Stevens.

The mere mention of Maties brings us onto UCT's opening day loss to the defending champions.The Ikeys went down 10-12 in a titanic struggle, with Rosslee missing five shots at goal. The UCT man, however, takes a philosophical view - as he did when questioned about slotting the match-winning effort on Monday night and, indeed, in last year's dramatic semifinal win over Pukke.

"For me it's not about winning or losing matches, I set high standards for myself and it was disappointing to have missed those kicks against Stellenbosch (from that point of view)," he said."There's no point beating yourself up when you miss crucial kicks, but at the same time, there's no point in getting ahead of yourself when you kick the winning kick.

"It's funny though, I thought my general performance against the Maties was my best game of the season, yet I won the Match of the Match against UJ and Tukkies because I kicked well at goal!"

But his goal-kicking and UCT's well-being aside, Rosslee has another battle to conquer in 2009 - his studies. In fact, having played the odd Currie Cup match for WP last year, his major ambition for this year is to complete his studies at UCT.

"I'm doing my finance honours," said Rosslee, "it's my last year of studies, so I have to make sure I get that out the way.

"Winning the Varsity Cup would obviously be a huge thing, but in terms of the rest of the year, I need to concentrate on my studies.

"If I don't make it back into the WP mix this year, there is always 2010, but I can't afford to neglect my studies."

Niiiice. Keep it up bro!! The blowjobs must be flowing like water down the nile!!

Isolation is over, Lets Party like is 1994

2009-02-13T15:30:00.002+02:00

THIS JUST IN: It appears the Playroom is back up and running. It would appear that the long and unanticipated period of silence from the former gossip powerhouse is finally over. Many speculated as to why the abrupt ending to the witty and lively banter came about.

Some said they had touched on a story with such far reaching implications if published that they were 'silenced' by the implicated parties. Some say that the head writer was struck down with syphillis. Others speculated that one writer had been snapped up by idols after Gareth Cliff saw him singing into a beer bottle at Tin Roof while another writer had been rumoured to have been struck by lightning, igniting his steel spine killing him instantly.

But all the speculating is sure to be put to rest in the not too distant future as the inhouse writers once again assemble themselves to carry on from where they had left off. Like a pheonix rising from the ashes, The Playroom will look to bulid its once proud reputation of Cape Town's no1 source of information.

The team has spread itself over South Africa as to get the greatest posible scope for all stories. They will reportedly be introducing a Johannesburg writer and thus will keep the public up to date with all happenenings bizarre and wonderful from the city of Gold.

Watch this space kids, its sure to get hectique. We await their much anticipated return with bated breath. Or until something better comes along.

The Winds are a changing...

2008-10-12T10:46:00.002+02:00

Wow its been ages!! Im finally back from my conscription duties in Afganistan. Ihave seen and done things im not proud of, but thats all behind me now! And after my hard times on enemy soil I get back to website problems. It seems the 'Man' is trying to shut us down!! But, dont worry kids, ill get this mess straightened out! So just sit back, relax and let life happen. Its all downhill from here...

Designing a Logo

2008-08-20T18:38:00.001+02:00

Cyanide & Happiness...

2008-08-13T17:59:00.000+02:00

The Wadda Enigma

2008-08-13T17:55:00.001+02:00

There was a rather large upheaval this last Saturday at the Popular Nihtclub wadda. I am not of course referring to the Mass WWE style Brawl that broke out 2 saturdays back in which many of the Nadoes were involved. No, I am referring to the Phenomenon that is the the R5 drink Special. Most took advantage, some more than others.

It is at one person in particular I base this article upon. Sources close to him say that he has been somewhat unstoppable of late due to the fact that his GDA calendar has slowed down some what of late and as a result is hitting claremont with a renewed ferocity. Who is this Enigma do you ask? What makes him tick? Why does he sing into beer bottles and serenade random birds on the Dancefloor?

He was the epitomy of a drunken sailor on Saturday Night. He was in his element. UCT rugby mates, young horny birds to serenade, Bottle of whiskey behind the bar and customary dribble stains down the front of the shirt. One of his close mates, The Name, when interviewed had this to say:"We have tried to stop him singing into that bottle, but he pays us no mind! Its like watching a car crash, over and over and over... And he was in all his glory, bottle in one hand and randoms in the other. He even made it down onto one knee a few times and i might even have seen a chainsaw, but thats unconfirmed as i my mind was cloudy with thoughts of my Aussie miss.... so sally can wait, she knows its too late...." And the Name's voice talied off, as a 'far away' look came over his face, a look of reminiscence.

As of yet we do not have a name for this legendary Cape Town Character. we do however know for what is surely a mathematical certainty that he will be in full song again this weekend and will surely be making an appearance at his beloved Wadda. Kids see if you can snap a pic with him. Send them in and ill post them up. All posted pics win a date and a blaas from Jessica Alba. Girls, win an evening with me, niiiice.

Send ur pics to playroommail@gmail.com

Americans Steal The Daly Cup

2008-08-12T22:02:00.003+02:00

Last Sunday saw the 6th running of the Daly Cup. It was held at Mowbray in what can only be described as perfect golfing conditions. A powerful field assembled including Daly Cup New commers Fat Whitfield, Jamie Ross, Jason Elley and Nic McConnachie. The latter three will be in the American side for the upcoming Presidents cup and will be competing against The Internationals. In amongst the field were previous Champions Murray King and Jambles Charton as well as defending Champion and Daly Cup record Holder Dayne Allenbrook.

Allenbrook, King, Fat and Thompson were paired up in the first 4 ball and Dawson-Squibb, McConnachie, Elley and Ross in the 2nd. King got away to a flying start, taking the corse to pieces on the front side. Defending Champion Allenbrook fell to pieces from the word go. McConnachie and Dawson-Squibb were a shot back at the turn.

It was at the turn where King's challenge faded with a double on the par5 10th. Nic Mac held firm when all other challengers faltered. No-one could match the Croc's shot making abilty and steely resolve. He ended up winning by 5 shots, a new Daly Cup record.

And for the first time in 6 months, the Cup was wrestled away from a woeful Allenbrook in what can only be described as a pitiful defense of his title with his effort winning the wooden spoon.

DALY CUP RECORDS
Most Golf: JADH Charton 99 (net)

Lowest round (gross): D Allenbrook 75
Lowest round (net): D Allenbrook 68
Biggest winning margin: N McConnachie 5 shots

PAST CHAMPIONS
19/07/07 MJ King (Mowbray)

14/08/07 S Mortlock (Mowbray)

25/10/07 J Charton (Royal Cape)

18/12/07 D Allenbrook (Mowbray)
17/02/08 D Allenbrook (Mowbray)

10/08/08 N McConnachie (Mowbray)

The Gun Run

2008-08-12T21:48:00.003+02:00

How good do you feel after you have just been for a run? A person definately has a sense of accomplishment. Albeit you are about to undo any good you have done by wrecking yourself on the rocks at tiger tiger, but thats another story altogether. I am referring to that warm feeling you get when you know you have pushed yourself. Ahhhh. It makes one happy.

It has also been noted that there are a few boys and girls around the greater Cape Town area that are looking a little worse for wear this winter as they have over indulged a little in their stock piling for the cold. Running training is a great way to shed this unwanted padding and to start getting the body summer ready.

With this in mind, The Gun Run is coming up on the 12th October. The Half Marathon will be contested over 21.4km of Cape Town's finest running surfaces. It is a rather flat half marathon by all accounts, thus some PB's(Personal Best's for all you non-running folk) could be shattered. I for one will be entering along with a few of Cape Town's biggest names. So, lets get a group as big as possible and make a vibe of it. Come on, you cant stay useless all your life.

Do it.

This is How I Roll...

2008-08-04T21:54:00.003+02:00

Hello again. I know, I know, its really really bad. I have been very busy. I thought I'd just let you into my world. I bet you a million dollars you cant guess what I have just been doing? I have Just cooked a Grasshopper!! Yes. I know. My brother caught it and I cooked it. Mental five. And no before you ask, we didn't eat it. He needed to dissect it and was going to leave it in a jar until it died. So, being the nature enthusiast that I am, I did the humane thing and threw it into a pot of boiling water. Killing it instantly. Nice hey? Oh and I think it was a baby...

I'm a Moose, Moose, Moose

2008-07-26T17:15:00.004+02:00

I think I have a winner. It is a shot called the Moose. It is bestowed upon the unfortunate individual who loses the Moose Drinking Game. A bit lost? I know. I have a tendency to talk shit. The Moose is one of the many things the Name and I brought back with us from Barcelona. We learnt it from a couple of Englishmen. I'm sure you will come across it in the not to distant future, its infectious. And the loser has to have the moose shot. It consists of cane and wait for it........ Milk. Yes I didn't stutter, Milk. As seen below the losers often show bewilderment at the sight of this foul concoction.

Losers: Bewildered

Don't worry, it will get you.

Pushing It Sound

2008-07-25T13:54:00.001+02:00

Some oke pushing it with regards to his sound system! Seen recently outside "The Track" - home of the SK Walmers!

Mustang Sally

2008-07-24T17:06:00.000+02:00

Most of us have been in love and will know that it makes you do crazy things sometimes. It can change people. None more hectic than I have seen with mine own eyes. Before me in Barca stood a changed man. I was otherwise occupied with an Aussie and towards the end of the night came looking for a mate of mine on a club in the heart of the Barca Club district. I expected the man to be in his usual spot, on the side of the D-F with a bevvy of lovely ladies falling over each other to get his attention.

But to my absolute astonishment, he we nowhere to be found. Then a circle parted on the Dance floor. at first I didnt even look. Not him, not on the dancefloor, there was no punk playing. But then I did look up and I saw it. The crowd had parted and were watching in silence a young man down on one knee presenting a rose(which he wide eyedly begged me for cash to purchase. I had thought nothing of it because I thought the money was for beer) to another young Aussie lass. But thats not all kids. He was doing a Jambles-Like serenade move on her. He was singing along to the immortal words of Oasis: " Soooo Sally cant wait, she knows its too late and she's walking on by..."

That is an image I will take to my death Bed. Had I had my camera on me, I would have gladly snapped a pic, but alas I didnt, so you will have to take my word for it. I know, its a big ask, as my word isnt worth as much as the Zim dollar, but kids, I dont lie about love. This was the real-deal-holyfield-tickle-her-back-watch-her-sleep LOVE. Fantastic I think. What a transition, he was like a catterpillar into a butterfly.

Barcelona: What a lady, What a night

2008-07-22T20:58:00.011+02:00

I have been thinking for a few days how I was going to write this article. It would be impossible to explain exactly what we experienced on our trip. I know I wont do it justice, but I have to try.

I joined The Name in London and right from the get go, the party started. Our Barca leg would be sanwiched by two 4-day stints in the capital. We were put up in top accomodation by the London Branch and many thanks must go to them. To say we ran riot would be an understatement. The clubs we went to were absolutely insane. The booze was pricey, the ladies even more so, but the boys did well regardless. Sheer class it must be said. There were incidents involving a Brazillian, a few Londoners and an Aussie, no names will be mentioned because we are gentlemen and The Banker even Managed to bag a Saffa! There was of course a slaying session at the Leicester Square Walkies ("This is like shooting fish in a Barrel" - The Name). The Deax even came out to play as did Jan & Sooz. The piece-de-la-resistance was the Goo Goo Dolls in Hyde Park. Oh my God that they were awesome.

Then Barca came. It was heaven. There was a club below the hostel and a bar in it, that sold 2 x 1L Heineken draughts for 3euro during happy hour (6-7:30). A recipe for a great evening. The entire hostel pours out into the common room and plays various drinking games(kings, what-the-fuck, moose, indian war signs were among the favorites) in the evenings and gets completely wasted. Then down to the Offie (the bottle store), some Vodka, and more boozing. Then off (if you can still walk) to the club strip in Port Olympia where there are +- 15 clubs in a row that you make your way in and out of the entire night sampling the foreign 'beverages' at will. We also went to a few super clubs that were rather pushing it and that had a girl:guy ratio of 3:1. I can hear the Guru licking his lips.

A couple of saffas and an aussie

The place was bursting with Aussies. We befriended thousands and partied with tem very hard over the week. they brought a fantastic element to our games of kings and it was thoroughly enjoyable. A pair of Aussie lasses stood out though, and we spent most of our time with them. The others we met were with us for varying periods of time, but these two were there the entire time we were. They had top banter and the convesations we had were lively and jovial, oh and boyfriends that were soon forgotten...

Aussies Birds: Mates

Others who we encoutered included a myriad of crazy poms, who donned a boombox around the streets of Barca and came across a loudhailer and brought it back to the hostel. This entertained me greatly and I unfortunately got carried away with the thing much to the dismay of the rest of the entire hostel.

The unforgettable group of kiwis who pushed it all night in the clubs then came homa and set off the fire extinguisher in our corridoor. Again I got caught up in the mob mentality and exzaccerbated the problem. I did however feel a bit bad when I woke up the next morning and there was a team of cleaners sorting it out.

To do each story justice is almost impossible. especially in writing. All I can say is that if you ever get a chance, grab it with both hands. The people we met we will stay friends with forever and the experiences we had we will never forget.

Adios Barcelona, till next time.

I know its really, really bad.

2008-07-15T11:36:00.002+02:00

Well, all i can say is that, i never want to leave. never. This place is the most hecticplace in the world by miles. I can just hope that all of you kids can one day experience this. Oh my shattered nerves. its too much. Enjoy the day. I will.

Markets crash.

2008-07-14T12:28:00.004+02:00

Wadda stocks have reached an all time low plummeting to a measly 26c a share from 342c as recent as May. One might think that the reason for this is the fact that Smithy and the boys are in England. (putting on a fine display, I might add, with a first innings deficit of 346 runs. Good work.)

This is not the case.

While a smart trader would've traded in the negative movement of these shares knowing Smithy was leaving the country, I don't think he could've predicted they would drop this much. One might even think there is some dirty work going on in the markets. A recent investigation, however, shows that this isn't the case. It also shows that if you have any spare money lying around, now would be a good time to invest in Wadda stocks.

A casual conversation with the owner of Wadda suggests that the reason for the drastic fall was caused by frequent flyers being abroad. It also suggests that the flyers concerned don't, in fact, play cricket for South Africa. I asked who these people could possibly be and was shocked to learn that it wasn't so much people as it was person. I was sworn to secrecy and cannot reveal who this person is but assure you he will be back soon and Wadda will survive.

In other news the Great Dane is making his way over to Pamplona to chase the bulls, we all know he won't be running from them. Bulls aren't all he's after either. Being a dog it's only nature that if he sees a cat, he'll chase it. Although over there they're not referred to as cats, the locals call them pussy cats. So there's the Great Dane, chasing a puss (in boots).

Great Dane in the back chasing....
Well we don't really know which one he's chasing.
Everyone seems to be running from him, though.

KFC, Nandoes to the rescue.

2008-07-09T14:00:00.002+02:00

Not even I could make this shit up...

Bloemfontein - The leadership of the African National Congress's Women's League had to intervene urgently after about 40 conference delegates were admitted to hospital for diarrhoea, among other things.

The four-day conference ended in Bloemfontein on Sunday. It was held on the Vista campus of the University of the Free State (UFS). The Free State Department of Health rendered medical assistance to conference delegates who complained of diarrhoea, dehydration and nausea.

ANC Women's League spokesperson Lindiwe Maseko said at a news conference that other cases requiring medical attention were people with diabetes who had not brought their medicine with them. Maseko gave the assurance that these cases were brought "under control".
"The services of the caterers were terminated. After that, we ordered food from outlets like KFC and Nando's." The caterers had served conference delegates two meals a day.

Maseko said it was important that conference delegates got fresh food and liquids. The golf carts in which delegates were transported around on campus also caused some drama when untrained cart drivers caused a few delegates to fall off the carts. A delegate apparently also was knocked over by one of the golf carts.

A Bloemfontein businessperson was given the contract to offer this service to conference delegates. In terms of the contract, there was one condition: it had to provide work for unemployed people.

Apparently ANC-appointed drivers were contracted to do the driving, but it was the first time they had ever driven the carts. Following complaints, the organisers decided the conference security guards should drive the carts and sacked the unemployed drivers.

The Free State cold was too unpleasant and the guards decided to go on strike on Friday evening. Members of the businessperson's family and two reliable workers had to take over driving duties. Consequently, fewer routes were serviced. According to the league, the onus rested on the service provider to ensure that the drivers of the golf carts were able to do the job, even if they were appointed by the Women's League.

Courtesy News24.com

Is this genuine?

2008-07-01T23:13:00.001+02:00

Some highly sought after video footage that gives us some insight into the the Great Daynes mental state right now.

Quality.....

P.S. sound is optional

Exam Technique

2008-07-01T09:58:00.001+02:00

While I was on my way to obtaining a couple of letters behind my name at the great University of Cape Town one of the funnier things that happened on the ride was when one of my good friends (no names mentioned but it probably wouldn't matter because "he's changed"... twice in fact!) came out of an Economics test claiming that he had got 2 percent. I thought that was one way of saying the test was hard but took very little notice of the number as the man was both notorious for being an 'exaggerator' as well as always underestimating his marks (like all girls are taught to do).

Well just over two weeks later when the marks came out those of you who quickly scan everyone's marks to look for extreme temperatures would have found what can only be described as the South Pole of marks.... 2%! allday001 ----- 2%.... Wholly Moses, how the fuck did this chap do it?! Well it seems as if my friend was right... he had achieved the almost perfect fuck up....

Well it seems as if exam technique may have been something that allday001 should have invested in.... We all know that it can mean the difference between 49% and 50% or in this case 2% and 7.5%. That is after you have heard that an English kid (thinking Council House Adolescent Vermon personally), when asked to describe the room that he was in, wrote "Fuck Off". Baking? I am hoping he was desperately out of time and it was the last question as he wasn't exactly endearing himself to the marker. But the question remains, how the FUCK did he get 7.5%?

Wait for it.....

"accurate spelling" and "effective communication"...... STOP IT....

The 'effective communication' comment is only going to degenerate peoples tube ride experiences further when CHAV's use that term with their hoody clad heads held up high.

Two words my friends....... Exam Technique

Div

2008-07-01T09:16:00.001+02:00

Not so sure about this nick name that Peter Div has been given, but hey... Was trawling news24 last night when I came across one of his great quotes in an article titled "Div ready to fight for Butch", where the great man was talking about keeping Butch James involved in SA rugby:

We will lean over backwards to get him back."

I'm sorry what was that? Some, including the ANC Youth League president, might say that I have 'quoted them out of context'.... I'm secretly hoping that it is because he learned to speak English from the Spanish who live in the Cape.

Butch, you so important to SA rugby that our national coach is going to strain his back (not break as that would involve being bent over in some manor) to keep you here. Hope he doesn't lean too far and spill his coffee!

No really, I do love you Div.....

Thanks Seth.....

Only the Dutch...

2008-07-01T09:13:00.001+02:00

The no-smoking advertisements are everywhere, as Holland gears up to create the smoke-free environment it says all workers are entitled to. Under the new rules, smoking tobacco is out. But the ban doesn't extend to marijuana, also called cannabis, which under existing soft drug legislation, is still tolerated if not entirely legal.

Tourists purchase their cannabis at the Bulldog coffee shop - one of the country's first built in an old police station in the heart of the city. Most Europeans smoke their marijuana in cigarettes rolled with tobacco. And that's where the confusion comes in. Long-time smoker Rob says he'll never smoke the pure marijuana joints that will now be the only ones still allowed.

"I don't know, smoke at home, I think. Just buy it and go home, smoke," he said.

Coffee shop owners are also confused. Although they say they will try and stop people from smoking joints that are mixed with marijuana and tobacco, it's often hard to police people as they're rolling. They say they will direct them outside, where smoking's still allowed.

For those who remain inside at the Bulldog, there will be other smoking options - tobacco substitutes on the counters, segregated smoking cabins, water pipes and vaporizers.
Fritz, who's been selling soft drugs at the Bulldog for a decade, says he doesn't think the new rules will hurt business. And they could even have some unforeseen benefits.

"I think it will be good because I smoke a lot but when it's forbidden, I have to go outside. But not possible because I must be in when I'm working. So, it's good for my health," he said.
Many smaller coffee shops, though, are worried they'll be put out of business. They can't afford to create a separate smoking space for tobacco diehards, as the law requires.

Helga, who owns the neighborhood smoke shop Yoyo, says she'll weather the storm, and will maybe even take this opportunity to convert her coffee shop into a community center. But a recent brush with police over kids using her shop's bathroom means she's taking the law seriously.

"They said one thing more you're closed forever, because they'd like to close all coffee shops. We're the most friendly one, the only coffee shop, it's another atmosphere. But they do it because they want less coffee shops. ... So I will follow the rules," she said.
For the owners who don't, fines start at about $475 for a first offense and work their way up to $3,800 for continuing breaches of the law.

But even the 200 inspectors charged with enforcing the new law say it's a bit unclear. With some 60,000 establishments to police, of which about 700 are coffee shops, they say they'll wait and see what happens at the smoke shops before levying fines. Which means for now at least, the traditional Dutch coffee shops will remain firmly rooted in another time-honored Dutch tradition, the legal grey area.

story courtesy of VOA News

How to make the Perfect Sandwich

2008-06-30T20:30:00.005+02:00

Something I am passionate about is eating. Now, a favourite of mine is the Sandwich. It is said to have been created by the Earl of Sandwich in the early 1400's when he asked his cook to place some meat in between two pieces of bread and voila, the Sandwich was born. Ill take you step by step through the process to ensure you understand fully.

Ingredients

The Bread: Two pieces of the finest white bread with golden brown crust is best.

The Meat: Skewered seal pup meat will be used here, i'm assured its good eating, but im not yet a believer. Also make sure to watch out for the steel skewer in the meat

The Spice: To give the siff meat some vibe, otherwise it is dull and lifeless.

Method

Now, you will have to marinade the meat in spice for as long as possible. Possibly forever. Then throw some spice on the bread so that the bread feels the vibe to. Then you place the meat in between the pieces of bread, and put some more spice on top to garnish and keep things interesting. Below you have the finished product. Bon Apetit

Story telling.

2008-06-29T13:29:00.005+02:00

What makes a good story?

What separates the good from the mediocre?

Could it be that the story teller has the freedom to say whatever he or she pleases. Whether to base the story on fact or fiction. Here on the playroom this gets abused.

Who the story is about is also key. When the author writes about other people it makes for better reading if it's based on fiction. If, however, the author decides to write about himself he uses fiction only to sugar coat the story, otherwise it's driven by fact.

Another very powerful tool is omission. It would be silly to write an embarrassing story about yourself and omission is therefor a very necessary tool. It becomes useless, though, if what you're leaving out is known by others. Hence this article...

What Jake failed to mention in his article titled 'post match' is the reason he was removed from his weekend home. In fact he sidestepped it altogether. I know you're all wondering why he got asked to leave, not for the first time I might add. Well kids it's quite simple. In fact I think he put it at no.1 on his 'how to get kicked out a nightclub' list.

I found this list and present you a snippet that features entries from other well known players:

How to get kicked out a nightclub by the greatness:

3. Score the DJ's girlfriend right in front on the DJ booth. (the name)
2. Sneak up behind the bouncer and pop a balloon right in his face. (spin jizzard)
1. Take off your jeans (and boxers) and flash everyone on the dance floor, then play with it as the bouncer approaches. (the great himself)

I mentioned earlier something about the author's ability to use fiction as and when he pleases. I wish I could say I've used this tool today but I'm afraid to say folks, I haven't.

Let this be a lesson to you kids out there. This behavior isn't cool. It's embarrassing. Grow up.

Post Match

2008-06-28T22:53:00.006+02:00

This was the scene that awaited me when I finaly arrived at home this morning. Kids got festive. I think people over indulged a little. Things definately were not hekped by the peoples bare tender, ohh-ahh van Breda who was issuing drinks left right and centre. Thnak you, but it was naughty.

It kicked off something terrible. Cape Towns Biggest Boozer was in fine form as usual. My Wadda night was rather abruptly and rather unjustifibly ended by Maurice (or some other Xenophia-esque jimmy), from there were slid on over to tiger, where i might have seen Satan, but cant be sure. Actually, I cant be sure of much. All I have is pieces. Little bits from here and there. Not much, just a few, some good, some not so. We then made the move to Starlight Diner (see xenophobia article) where we were unfortunately met by an absolute prick of a human in the form of a famous rugby players brother. Let's call this oxygen theif Skinny Bob. Im not going to go into it, but I dont get stressed to quickly and generally keep my temper under control. But this muppet pushed my patience to the limits. Anyway, despite this, we managed to enjoy our chips and Farmgirl tomato sauce. Very Budget. What an evening, and a thank you to all involved.

The Perfect Pre-Match and its Players

2008-06-27T15:17:00.002+02:00

I look forward with optimism into this weekend. Its starting with pre-match, as it so often does. I am fine with that. In fact its to my liking. Mates coming together to enjoy themselves. Nothing wrong. A corner stone of society so to say, a pastime of sorts.

The Perfect Pre-Match

Like anything in life you have to start with your goals in mind. Thus all the planning must lead you on a series of steps to ultimately reaching your goals. And here kids our goal, lets be honest, is to come right. Or if you are Keric, be the most boozed oke there. The goal itself is immaterial, it is the planning for reaching said goal that is of the utmost importance, and this is set up all too aften by the PreMatch, or PM as it will now be referred to.

The perfect PM can take many different forms, my personal favourite, involves a bottle of cane, a pack of cards and a few mates, birds optional(at this point in the evening). A point I cant stress enough, is that it CANNOT be a rushed affair. I have seen far too many inexperienced school-boy-like campaigners make this fatal mistake. As a rule of thumb, 4 hours minimum. I can sense a few of you raising your eyes, but, its a proven fact. Slow release boozing, much like slow release energy, is the best way to go. It allows the body time to adjust to its altered state of awareness.

An important element to the night is "The CEO" He is the one who oversees the evening and makes sure everyone is on a similar level of boozedness. This is however not a trditional seat of power like the fines chair or anything like that, it is unknown to the other competitors. It is a thnkless task that a few perform to ensure a good night. A CEO has many tools at his disposal to 'hurry competitors along, or 'slow' them down a bit. The drinking games are a perfect example of this, shots have the desitred effect on hurring those slow competitors up a bit, the more competent the CEO, the better his Arsenal.

Problems come in when the CEO loses control himself, this could end in disaster for the crowd and ultimately result in a failed PM. Thus a CEO must keep his composure at all times.

Once out on the town, the CEO leaves his kids to their own devices, much like a mother bird letting its chicks fly away for the first time. He feels that warm sense of pride when they spade drunk bitches. Its good. He has succeeded. He then enjoys himself out. He has earned it.

The best ad war in recent memory...

2008-06-24T15:59:00.001+02:00

1. BMW started this advertisement.
2. Audi replied.
3. Subaru needed to say something.
4. Bentley Chairman had the 'last word'.

Brilliant. Top Chat

Barca Count Down: 11 days

2008-06-23T20:28:00.001+02:00

The Gloves are Off

2008-06-23T20:21:00.002+02:00

In lieu of recent events and articles, the gloves have been well and truly taken off and battle lines have been drawn. There is a certain amount of collusion going on in the playroom ranks and this has been noted. Ok, Ladies and Gentlemen, this might get ugly, Kids avert your eyes.

Playroom Playmates Top Table

2008-06-23T12:15:00.001+02:00

Of course......

Mentioned this game a month or so ago and urged you guys to join. Well maybe you shouldn't have seeing as though you would have got cleaned up by the Playroom Playmates. Mark 'gives it that Italiano feel' Riva, manager of Riviera is learning the hard way. He is however within touching distance of the clear leader (1 point can be the difference between passing your drivers licence or not) who is managed by one of the market leaders in online sports management/tipping games.

This picture came out worse than my brothers ipod when it went for a swim in the washing machine, but I think you can just make out what's happening.

It's going to be a tight finish to this pool but one feels that it could all boil down to one very important game, when the Playroom Playmates take on Riviera at Camelot (home of the playmates). In their first encounter earlier in the year Riviera made full use of their home ground advantage to edge out the Playmates 34-27.

GET INVOLVED KIDS.... Season 3 starts pretty soon, but the sooner you start the better!

Throw stones...

2008-06-23T11:18:00.005+02:00

If you live in a glass house sooner or later someone is going to throw stones at you so why not beat them to it? Better yet give your stones to someone who doesn't live in a glass house and let him throw them for you!

Tiny broken pieces of stone don't count. They don't grow.

After receiving a tiny broken piece of stone the other day I did a bit of investigating....

I followed the smoke to a place in Claremont and met up with the man himself. It wasn't easy understanding him as he'd been boozing the whole day so at first I thought he was ignoring my questions and just singing along to the music. After a while though I realized that the song he was singing was different to the one playing. I thought this was rather strange so I listened a little closer and noted a few keywords in the song. After a little search on Google I learned that the song is a classic by Elton John. It goes like this:

Hey Nikita is it cold
In your little corner of the world
You could roll around the globe
And never find a warmer soul to know

Oh I saw you by the wall
Ten of your tin soldiers in a row
With eyes that looked like ice on fire
The human heart a captive in the snow

Oh Nikita You will never know anything about my home
I'll never know how good it feels to hold you
Nikita I need you so
Oh Nikita is the other side of any given line in time
Counting ten tin soldiers in a row
Oh no, Nikita you'll never know

Do you ever dream of me
Do you ever see the letters that I write
When you look up through the wire
Nikita do you count the stars at night

And if there comes a time
Guns and gates no longer hold you in
And if you're free to make a choice
Just look towards the west and find a friend

Obviously he didn't know all the lyrics so he was just singing the same lines over and over with his eyes closed and head tilted back... "I'll never know how good it feels to hold you... Nikita I need you so".

There must be a reason for this strange behavior so if you have any information on this mysterious incident don't hesitate to write to the playroom. If you decide that the 'glass house' you live in is worth too much to put at risk, don't hesitate to pass on those precious 'stones'...

Peace.

Beavers eat their Young

2008-06-22T15:42:00.003+02:00

Beavers: Dangerous, they attack the young.

Section 16(b) iii of the constitution of The Republic of South Africa clearly states the age for a minor to be legally 'interfered' with is 16. Now this would not normally pose a problem for people my age. But, alas, a recently single member of the Cape Town scene seeked clarification on this issue over the weekend. This Article is from the Sunday Argus:

It was alledged that an unnamed man met and made friends with a rather young Gr11 pupil at the popular night club WADDA in Claremont on Saturday Night. Partygoers looked on in amazement when this still unidentified man proceeded to attack this young girl, who could have been his daughter, or at best a younger sister. It is not clear at this stahge what prompted the attack, but our reporters will get to the bottom of the story. If you have any information pertaining tho this event or you know the perportrator please call PASYG (People Against Slaying Young Girls) 0800-455-4545

Applying the innocent bystander test a reasonable person would be led to believe that if she was in the club, she was 18. At least that should be his argument in court, but at WADDA we all know better dont we. Shame on you man, its like fishing with dynamite. Be careful kids, it's a Jungle out there.

My New Girlfriend

2008-06-22T13:52:00.006+02:00

Hi, I would like you to meet her. Gregg, leave her alone.

Dont throw Stones...

2008-06-22T13:27:00.002+02:00

Sayings. Used to convey a point in a funny nature. Awesome when one fits into the situation, and you can bust it out. Like this one, Dont throw stones if you live in a glass house. People go hard at others, i'm fine with that. In fact, I encourage it. But, if you cant take the heat get out of the kitchen, another one, T-R-E-medous, so, you must be able to take it if you dish it out. Thats all. Im just puttng it out there. Use it dont use it. In the words of Brick Top in Snatch "You wont think its so funny when you are putting out the flames on your childrens' backs". Hard hitting stuff.

Im off for some sushi...

Refer to Post Below......

2008-06-21T18:23:00.001+02:00

Lets just say that based on some stories I heard at Rondebosch Bishops this morning I think some people will be a little more worried about kids with high school girls than others. I won't mention any names, but the standard 1 term that was often used, "He who smelt it, dealt it" comes to mind....

Also heard this guy described as quote unquote, "prolific".....

P.S. The facts of this story have not been confirmed.

P.P.S. Except of course the part about "prolific"

Your Worst Nightmare...

2008-06-20T09:39:00.002+02:00

Officials in the US state of Massachusetts are investigating how 17 teenage girls from the same school have become pregnant.

The number is four times as high as the year before at Gloucester High School.
There are reports that some of the girls - none of whom is older than 16 - entered into a pact to have their babies together.

The girls or their families have so far made no comment. Officials are also investigating the age of the fathers. Some are believed to be in their twenties and could face the possibility of being charged with having sex with minors.

Disturbing

When students at Gloucester High School broke up for the summer, officials, parents and the whole community had to face up to a shocking statistic.

Seventeen teenage pupils had walked out of the school gates pregnant.
More disturbing is that some of the schools own staff believe that this was no accident.
Local officials say that nearly half of the girls had entered into a bizarre pact to have their babies together.

The school principle says that several students returned multiple times to take pregnancy tests and some appeared upset when they found out they were not pregnant.
The school - which has 1,200 students - carried out 150 pregnancy tests in the past year alone.

Jesus Wept, makes you think. You could walk into that moving truck!! Jimmy heard the combine Harvester, Jonny saw the combine harvester, and Jamie didn't know what the F#ck hit him!!

courtesy bbc.co.uk

HARSH!!!!!!!!! But Fair.......

2008-06-19T15:22:00.001+02:00

You know the hand signals by now.....

Not just the picture but the whole post..... Jeepers Dayne (is that what we call you these days?) you've changed!

Whats the worst that could Happen???

2008-06-17T19:21:00.004+02:00

Ill tell you. What is the worst thing you could do in your job to risk getting fired? Ok, there are maybe a few worse, Banging your bosses wife and declaring your undying devotion to apartheid would probably be a little worse, but this is up there.

You have all come across those motivational posters that are doing the rounds via email. Well, if you havent here is a little taster:

And they get progressively worse. Well, instead of sending a hearty batch of these to my mailing list, I made the unfortunate mistake of sending them to my entire client and trustee lists. The look on my face when I found out...probably priceless. But as you can imagine, I didnt see the funny side. I still dont really. I could be fired and just not know it yet. So, this could be my last post as a gainfully employed individual. What made it worse was that a few clients replied with angry mails. So, I as I lie here in wait I think of you knee deep in tofu (Bio-Dome)(The Movie?)(Bud and Doyle)(Still Nothing?)(Fu#K You then).

I blame this whole episode wholly on boozing. It might have been a sneaky Thur Night at Tiger that put me in such a forgetful mood. But thats another story. Some just never learn. Some do.

Seal Clubbing

2008-06-15T18:14:00.008+02:00

Seal Clubbers are probably the most ruthless of people ever to have walked the earth. There is one Seal Clubber in particular who has been patrolling the Cape Town shores clubbing at will. He is known as the Seal Clubbing King. What makes the King so dangerous is that instead of using a cumbersome wooden club, he uses a state of the art Titanium clubbing pole that is much lighter and deadlier. So big is his love for seal clubbing, that he had the club surgically inserted into his spine, so that he may remove it and attack at a moments notice. He is a wiley foe and usually operates around the Oblivion and Tin Roof Shores and has even been known to venture up as far north as Tiger Tiger Bay. He has taken many scalps over the years such as:

He was last seen at Tin Roof Cove attempting to take on this Whale (below), a dangerous task for even the most experienced of Seal Clubbers. It looks as if he has attempted the impossible and he hasn't been heard from since. It is not known whether he survived, or perished in his quest. He is now in hiding, or dead and that will be the end Of the Great Seal Clubbing King. Now his ghost wheels the Barrow through streets broad and Narrow...

Cyanide...

2008-06-13T15:19:00.001+02:00

Tiger Stamps....

2008-06-13T10:27:00.005+02:00

I'm apologising for my syntax in advance. I am fuzzy at the moment.

Again...another problem that most of you probably don't have to deal with... but when you fall asleep in the shower and arrive an hour late for work, blaming the bloody traffic, this fact helps you out. Have you ever noticed that the tiger stamps are UV. Thus, they do not make an ugly tag down your arm like many of the other fine establishments in the greater Cape Town area. Perfect for when you have to explain your way out of a tight spot. Tiger I salute you. You ARE ideas men!!

My eyes are sore, I cannot see...

2008-06-13T10:10:00.002+02:00

Great Dane on the loose.

2008-06-09T11:58:00.005+02:00

The Great Dane - Running free.

A 3-year old (22 in dog years) Great Dane escaped from a kennel in Constantia recently after its owner accidentally left the gates open. The Dane has been on the rampage ever since, being spotted all around the Western Cape region.

Our in-house writers are on the case and spoke earlier to a member from the SPCA. The interview went a little something like this:

Playroom (P): Thanks very much for meeting with us today Ms SPCA lady. What a lovely necklace that is. Is that your name on it?

SPCA lady (S): Why yes it is my name, a gift from my man. And it’s a pleasure. Anything I can do to help the situation.

P: Yes it is of concern to quite a few of our readers. So tell us a bit more about the species in general.

S: Well the Great Dane is an intelligent, affectionate and gentle animal. Great Danes are often referred to as 'gentle giants' and make excellent family companions. Great Danes are people orientated, sensitive, intuitive and slow to anger. Great Danes do need training from a young age, as they grow into large dogs very quickly.

P: Wow that’s informative. Have you practiced that phrase before?

S: (laughing sheepishly to herself) No no. I’m just a little nervous that’s all.

P: Oh please. Just try to relax. Let’s just enjoy it. Here have another biscuit. OK so a bit more about the story at hand. What’s the latest news on this particular Great Dane?

S: Well we tried everything we can think of here in the mother city. We just couldn't manage to get the situation under control. We here at the SPCA like to believe that we can solve any problem. We are what is known as ‘out the box’ thinkers. Therefore we decided to recruit some help from a more experienced organization, being that of head office in the United States of America. They really do seem to know what they’re doing. Soon after their arrival they started making progress and they would appear to have the situation under control.

P: Wow that is impressive. So are you saying that the Great Dane has been caught and locked up again?

S: Well at this point we aren't certain.

P: What do you mean? Either you have the Dane or you don’t. Simple as that.

S: P it just isn't as easy as it sounds. No wall is too high for this animal.

P: OK. Whatever. It’s just a dog. Thanks again for meeting with me. Here’s another biscuit. Enjoy it. Chew before you swallow. There’s a good girl.

So that’s how the interview went. Not sure if we now know any more than we did before but the situation appears to be in the grasps of a foreign organization. More news on the situation to follow.

Warne to help Smith

2008-06-09T09:26:00.000+02:00

Australian spin legend Shane Warne may be the secret weapon in South Africa's quest to defeat England.

Proteas captain Graeme Smith revealed he would be consulting Warne during the tour, which begins later this month, to see if he can provide any tips for beating England.

Smith told Afrikaans Sunday newspaper Sondag he had enjoyed playing alongside Warne in the recent Indian Premier League, adding he planned to phone Warne "to share a few ideas about England".

"I think I learnt most from him whenever we chatted about cricket in general," said Smith.
"He has a great cricketing brain and it was great for me to work with him and learn the way he thinks and works.

"There is no question he is a genius of the game and it was very interesting to hear how he plans to get a side to submit.

"It was also nice to see how he thinks about the game and he is a self-assured, positive captain.
"He can get the best out of players and we worked well together tactically.

"It will be nice to swap a few ideas with him when we are in England."

Things you didn't Know about Murray King

2008-06-08T17:58:00.004+02:00

The Man, the Enigma. Fans chant his name wherever he goes and the ladies slide off their seats. But we know a precious little about this man, what makes him tick? What are his hopes, his dreams? I have done a reconnaissance mission and compiled a list of facts about the Man. Here goes...

- He lost his spine in a oil rig accident off the coast of Namibia, he had it replaced with a titanium 9 iron shaft. Thus he has a stiff disposition.

- It is said that this is not the only thing on him that is made of steel.

- He has a fondness for 18th century poetry.

- He is the slowest Batsman ever to have played the fine game of cricket.

- He resides on a river front estate in Langa East.

- He cant turn left.

- He harbours a secret ambition to take part in Idols and practices daily in hope that one day he will realise his dream.

- He has been shot twice, in one sitting.

- He can bring a woman to orgasm using nothing but a fork and a balloon.

- He doesn't sleep

- He can go up to 6 days without food or water. This is a result of a childhood experience that occurred in the Namib Desert. He doesn't speak of it, it is just referred to as 'The Hurt'.

So kids, you are now more informed. Next time you strike up a conversation with the man, you will have something to talk about. Just don't mention the war...

Just Rewards

2008-06-08T17:16:00.002+02:00

Apparently, P Diddy is pumping Cameron Diaz. I am completely fine with this. Cameron Diaz is an angel(no pun intended) and if she cant be with me(waiting list too long) then I am more than happy to let P Diddy have her. He pushes his vibe to the max, and I emplore that. So as a reward, he gets Cameron. I dont make the rules, I just play by them.

Dont hate the player, hate the game.

When you have some spare time...

2008-06-08T17:14:00.001+02:00

http://www.mylazysundays.com/

Photo analysis.

2008-06-05T11:49:00.007+02:00

I'm no photo analyst but even the laymen can tell the difference between what's happening above. Take for example the highlighted bits. In the first picture it's quite obvious that the oke doesn't actually know where he is. The second picture, however, shows an oke who's well aware of his surroundings and would even appear to be quite happy with them.

As for game, set and match... Yes this is most certainly the case in picture 1. Picture 2 however... Well lets just say that the game would appear to have only just begun.

Out of the frying pan into the fire? Time will tell.

Fighting Fire With Fire

2008-06-05T08:59:00.002+02:00

I was saving this for a special occasion. But due to the scathing attack made on me below by a rogue agent, I have been forced to show my hand. Prematurely maybe, only time will tell, but for now I feel this is Game, Set, Match.

Shhhhhhh, Sleep.

2008-06-04T20:34:00.001+02:00

This picture has nothing to do with anything. I just thought I'd share it with you.

6am

2008-06-04T11:38:00.003+02:00

This pic has nothing to do with the article, I just thought id share it with you.

Do any of you know what 6am looks like? Well you get the select few who are still winding down after a fruitful night on the town. You would usually find yourself at starlight Diner (see Foreigners article) or the beach to watch the sunrise. But this is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the select few that are fortunate enough to wake up at this time. I, have become one of those few. Due to circumstances out of my control, I was told that my services would be needed at my office from 6:30am in the mornings. I refused point blank at first with a barrage of anti-corporation propaganda, but was given a sideways look by my boss and reminded that performance appraisals would be done next week and i was in a precarious position (see boozed at work article).

So, I was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Its not a nice feeling let me tell you. I grudgingly agreed. But, it would be on a best efforts basis, ie as close as possible. It was then that the bomb was dropped that i would also be forgoing my lunch hour in the time of crisis. I was floored by this shocking revelation due to not only the gravity of the situation, but the manner in which my boss cavalierly delivered the news. Now, I can appreciate that not everyone enjoys food as much as i do, but to render me unable to forage for myself in this stressful time is unthinkable, neigh inhumane.

This also rules out any further week night forays to Tiger, Oblivion, Tin Roof or even The Fat Cactus (except Monday :-) for the next little while which have been rather prolific of late by all accounts. I am ok with this though. The pace has been a trifle quick. It will be nice to settle down for the week, and as circumstances would allow it, I have a week to do that, and it being girlfriend weather, its rather nice!! That being said, when the DL tweaked me at 10 last night to go to Tiger, Id be lying if I said it didn't take Super Human Strength to keep me on the couch. Its a process. I'm learning again.

So as i sit here in this precarious predicament i find myself in, with seemingly no way out, I stare out of the window and the words of my friend and confidant ring true through my ears...Ons le by die berg...

Be Nicer to Foreigners

2008-06-01T19:24:00.003+02:00

With the recent spate of Xenophobic attacks, I think we should all start being nicer to the foreigners in this country. Being the upstanding member of society that I am, I gladly accepted the challenge of re-integrating the foreigners back into our Cape Town Vibe. We assembled a task team and jumped in. Thats where the details become a little sketchey. I have bits and pieces, Cane...kings...Tiger...Wadda...home...car...Starlight Diner... nothing much tho, I just know that relations between the Cape Town locals and the foreigners have never been stronger. The strengthening ties operation was a success.

Let me just tell you that this was the weather that met us this morning when we arrived at Rondebosch Golf Club, some hanging, others not for the Presidents Cup Qualifying Competition. It was an absolute cracker of a day and a great time was had by all, even if the standard of golf was average to poor.

Post-Its: Useful

2008-05-29T10:16:00.003+02:00

Pertinent to the current situation?

Ice Skating (Un)Spectacular

2008-05-20T16:05:00.002+02:00

Wondering where it all went wrong

Ice Skating. I mean seriously? Are we doing it? Ok, lets pretend we are 10. Lets go for a 'fun' time at the ice rink. I decided to join my colleagues in a trip to the Grand West Ice rink the other day. The last time i was there, was when i was about 12 years old for a mate's party. I seem to remember myself enjoying it. It will be pretty decent right? Wrong. Its not cool. I nervously handed over my size 12 shoe to the stoner on the other side of the rental counter. "What size?" was his utterance. Well, you could just look down into your hand you muppet and read the size 12 written in 99 font that is staring at you, but ill help you anyway. "12" was my reply. "Coool" was what I got back. Is it hey? Cool? Whats cool? Not your shirt, not your job?

So, I made my way to the rink, skates in tow. I sat down and suited up, a bit apprehensive about leaving my remaining shoe lying around these shady creatures lurking in the corners. I stepped out onto the ice, a little shaky at first, and made a few glides. What met me out there was utterly disappointing. There were 10,000 people skidding around in circles on a rink that is very small and resembles a frozen swimming pool. The average age was about 10 (as I eluded to earlier). No hot ladies, nothing whatsoever to look at. Stellenbosch was another issue altogether, but that's a story for another day. The only other people present at this debacle were Bellville and Pinelands trash. They were of course the 'locals' (can you imagine being a local at an ice rink, what a pick up line) and flew around the show trying to make you look like a toss. I resisted the urge on many occasions to let an elbow fly and knock the prats out cold.

In the height of my despair I trundled off accompanied by The Curls, who was in an equal state of utter disinterest, only managing a measly 40 minutes on the ice, into the Casino. This was where our night took an upwards turn. Went straight to the roulette wheel and after a good few hours of a bit of 'Nought and the Neighbours' we walked out with much heavier pockets. A good night was to ensue...

Boozing at Work

2008-05-15T15:08:00.002+02:00

Boozing at work. It’s a grey area. Well let me actually rephrase that, not actually boozing while you are AT work, but rather coming to work boozed/hungover. As I write you this, I am using superhuman strength (yes I have it ladies) to keep my eyes from shutting and me falling face first onto my keyboard. Now, for those of you who don’t work, you cant possibly comprehend the anguish one goes through. Others like Donkey and Ruth have become all too familiar with it. Kids its not a normal hangover.

Now I can already hear people moaning and groaning, saying “Iv had lots of hangover before, whats different? Well its this. You have to appear so sober, but its worse than that. You actually have to function and have meetings and interact with other sober workers. It’s a nightmare! There are a few tell tale stages of a boozy worker.

What comes first is the ‘laggies’. Here everything seems ridiculously funny and the sufferer will float around effortlessly as if carried by unseen angels. Then, after a few hours comes the ‘parries’ Stage (pronounced p-arry-s and is said to be coined by a well known Cape Town Name, Deax he is also rumoured to have invented the High 5.) The Parries Stage is the first time the Boozer realises that this was probably not the best idea. This is where the ‘LC’ first starts to hit home and the realisation comes that you are not as cool as you thought you were. The laggies start fading away and a cloud starts to come over you. This is when the final stage hits. The Bleakness. Here kids the boozer is at rock bottom. He/she is often heard to utter phrases like “Im never boozing again”, “Was there any need for last night” and “Why did I do that”. These are all empty promises of course. They are often made to console the Boozer and make it feel like they are not bad people.

That’s my rant for the day. Enjoy the evening kids. Play safe, stay in school.

This is Going Straight to the Playroom

2008-05-15T14:14:00.001+02:00

I really have little to say until after this final round of pool matches in the Super 14. Maybe one or two things though....

1) I hope the Sharks get pumped on Saturday

2) Unlucky to UCT for coming up short against the Horn Dogs for the second time in a row (24-23)

3) I hope the Sharks take 25pts plus from the Chiefs

4) Congrats to the Nadoes for cleaning the Umbombo's last night! Must say I am very impressed with the guys this year. Thought they might lack the depth the Nadoes have always prided themselves on, but they have well and truly proved me wrong.

5) Congrats to the RBHS 1st XV for beating SACS on the weekend. Wasn't long ago that beating SACS was a non-negotiable, but things have changed Stuart and Jed.

6) I seriously hope the Sharks say goodbye to Dick on Saturday evening!

7) Play Black Out Rugby today! Its good times!

8) Put your life savings on the Sharks so that you hedge against a bad weekend (I have)..

9) Behave more like this guy

Motivations for the Day

2008-05-07T09:44:00.003+02:00

Billy Connolly's "14 Things I hate about Everybody"

2008-05-07T09:37:00.001+02:00

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for theTV remote because they refuse to walk tothe TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want tohave your cake and eat it too".F*cking right What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always thelast place you look". Of course it is.Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then there has never been
anything before it. If it's an improvement,then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Kn*bhead?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc'
before the item you are ordering..... It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

No Honey, Not Tonight

2008-05-06T11:29:00.001+02:00

No honey, I don't feel like it tonight...." This was written by a
guy... it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!!
What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited.

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having s#x tonight either....but at least that girl knows I'm smarter than her.

The Game has Pushed it Here

2008-05-05T10:11:00.002+02:00

MediaTakeOut.com just caught wind of an EXPLOSIVE interview given by rapper the game. In it, The Game claims (possibly jokingly?) that 50 and members of G-Unit are engaged in homosexual relations. Here's his exact quote - judge for yourself:

At the end it’s only gonna be Tony Yayo and 50, Banks ‘gon go too man, I’m tellin’ you it’s only a certain amount of time man that you can just f*ck n*ggas in they as* man and you can’t – that’s me man I saw the rubber comin’ I jetted, I’m out n*gga.I’m not with that homo sh*t. You can do that homo sh*t to them n*ggas man. Them n*ggas love a**, butt f*ckers, butt pirates. They do all that s*it that’s they s*it man, I like girls man.

Game, you're gonna have to clear this one up...

Sooooooooorrrrrrryyyyyyy

2008-05-02T16:39:00.001+02:00

SuperBru Update

2008-05-01T16:31:00.001+02:00

Thought it might be time for a little update on what has happened in the Super 14 prediction game that is SuperBru. Two reasons really for the timing: 1) Got four tests on Saturday and this would be considered by most guidance councilors to be "work avoidance". 2) I'm leading, although that is not really a valid point because otherwise we would have had updates pretty much throughout the entire competition.

The tournament started off at lighting pace and those that thought that "slow and steady wins the race" was anything other than an old chirp used by losers found out pretty quickly that it wasn't. Yours truly showed that although you might not win the Super 14 in March, your sure as hell put yourself in with a chance. The best part about leading is that I have killed two birds with one stone by proving to critics that this game is not about luck at all.

His (why I'm writing in 3rd person I'm not sure, seeing as I am 1st person..... that was a shit joke but my timing was impeccable) fiercest rival was a man who would probably be considered the bookies favourite, Gareth "Primate" Rosslee. As an editor of SARugby.com he probably does have the competitive advantage (to quote my marketing 1 lecturer - kak course by the by). The many hours of analysing have paid off by putting him in a position the Sharks would so dearly love to be in, 2nd place, with just a few rounds left.

In third place is what this game is all about, a true underdog and comeback story. We've seen it hundreds of times on a Sunday night on M-net and we have seen it again here. The Great Dayne was all but out the race after a couple of rounds, but turned what was a two horse race into a crowd. Some brave calls paid off for the big man and he is right back in the mix. Very Stormers like actually - bad start, nice comeback, go the momentum, but never really gonna take the title are they.

The rest of the bunch really did not add much to the compo apart from some numbers to make the thing vaguely credible. Biggest disappointment was the Biggest Name in the game, "Coheed" Gio Aplon Thompson. He really showed that sometimes you can be a good Vodacom Cup player, but that bridge to Super 14 might be one too far.

Credit must go to Kezza Allenbrooke for his continued participation. Truth be known I probably would have given up by now, but the youngster has kept on fighting. Big up to you!

Will lets hope this compo pans out like it is supposed to with the best player winning. Going to be a tight finish me thinks!

This is going Straight to the Playroom

2008-04-28T16:13:00.001+02:00

Some headlines spotted around the Cape Town Metropole in the last few days.

"Cape Town Socialite involved in Cash in Transit Bust at Popular Claremont Nightclub"

"Member of Lighthouse Family Performs Impromptu Acoustic Gig in Noordhoek Restaurant"

"Family Violence Rocks Well Known Rondebosch Family"

Just read them on the street lights so not sure what the full stories are about, but feel the headlines are pretty descriptive.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2008...... PLAY BLACKOUT RUGBY. If I could offer you only one piece of advice for the future, BLACKOUT RUGBY would be it. It is a must for those bored execs out there of for those students who can find an Internet connection faster than Gordon Duffy. It truly is good clean fun. Not going to bore you with the details, but it is basically an online championship manager rugby game. DO IT!

Oh and I found these lying around the house.....

Have a good 2 day week kids....

Ladies Getting Ready for the Nadoes Formal

2008-04-28T10:01:00.003+02:00

Mrs Right?

2008-04-28T09:56:00.004+02:00

3GB

2008-04-28T09:29:00.002+02:00

Keeping in touch with friends and people you have met Ie. Women you have pulled in the past (Guy), is always difficult. Facebook is a rather useful tool, but as some of us are now finding out, is unavailable at work as ‘The Man’ wont let us on while we are on his time. Well kids, I may have the answer. I have come across this site, 3gb . It is a networking site that you can share pics, mp3’s and all sorts of things. You can ‘meet’ and make new friends from all over the world, not really sure if that’s code for something else or not, but anyway. There is also a prize that you could win for signing up of $10,000. Not shabby, that will do nicely.

So kids sign up in the mean time and lets get a vibe together. We can take over this place. Not a bad way to get new music from all over the show. Who knows, maybe it might even take over facebook. I am in the process of signing up and come Tuesday morning, I will unleash it upon my work network. Will it slip through? Lets hope so, I will report back with my findings.

Great T's

2008-04-27T22:59:00.001+02:00

Wicked Weasel...Naughty New Range

2008-04-27T21:21:00.005+02:00

Dirty

2008-04-25T08:57:00.000+02:00

Funny

2008-04-24T12:10:00.002+02:00

Morning Moan

2008-04-24T09:52:00.000+02:00

I have in fact come to the realisation that boozing is not good for you. Nor is it productive. I knew this of course before I decided to go out last night, (yes mom, im not perfect) but I just need re-affirmation. And now, as I write this at my desk, still boozed, with a R700 parking fine in my pocket (Thanks DL), I sit here wondering where it all went wrong. It was only meant to be 1 drink, just 1. But 1 turned to 2 and 2 turned to free drinks in the VIP at Wadda and that was the end of it.

Another aside, I got a call this morning at 7 from my mom. She was looking for my brother cuz he didn’t come home last night. So, I made the necessary enquiries and found him after about 30,000 calls to be passed out on a digs floor in Mowbray. God only knows where Graham Barratt is this morning, because if he is feeling anything like me this morning, good luck. It was a good send off to the Godfather last night, but rumours circulating the paddock are that he is to be staying for a couple more, surprise!